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How To Pretend You Like Sports

"Yay, sports!"

Emma Frengel

Jul 21, 2015

Clemson University

207

redbubble.com

Friends and family, I have some bad news... I'm not as big a sports fan as I seem. Since I was younger, I have developed a strategy to disguise my indifference toward the general category of "sports." I know, this must seem like blasphemy. I was raised in a swimming/lacrosse/football-loving family. I struggled an appropriate amount of time to find a sport that was "right for me" only to discover there wasn't one. I go to a school where you unintentionally gasp when someone tells you that they have never been to a game in Death Valley. Sports are a big part of my outer circle, but sometimes it is necessary to act like I care more about the Super Bowl more than the commercials in between. Here are three foolproof steps to get you through that next game:

1. Facial Expressions

They say your eyes are the windows to your soul, but you don't want that window to show that you'd much rather be watching "Grey's Anatomy" on Netflix. Focus on the TV/field and only check your phone when absolutely necessary. Maintain an appropriate facial expression for the circumstances of the game. An essential part of this step is cheering when everyone else is cheering or telling the ref he needs better glasses when everyone else does. Don't interrupt by asking what everyone thinks of the latest thing trending on Facebook. No one cares right now. Follow the crowd. Conform.

2. Buzzwords

Talking the talk can convince people that you are indeed a sports fan. Certain words or phrases like "bad play" or "should've been a foul" said at the correct time let people around you know that you're paying attention and you care. Lack of any commentary from you is a sure sign that you don't know what's going on. Because you want to keep up appearances of being knowledgeable, buzzwords are an easy way to interject and not risk any in-depth conversation about the sport.

3. Key Players/Coaches/Dates

Because people will most likely ask who your favorite player is, you need to do a little research or simply Google search "best [insert sport/league] player." Familiarize yourself with a few key skills and plays and the number of years they've been playing. After that, learn the coach's name. If you don't even know his name, people will be on to you and your lies. Finally, know what sports are played in which seasons. Mentioning that you can't wait for fall because of football season confirms your excitement about the sport.

You might be wondering how you can relate to how I feel if you are an avid fan of sports. There certainly have to be sports that you enjoy watching and know more about than others. These tips could help you become a better sports fan than you already are.

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.

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