I'm writing this article because I've listened to so many stories about the struggles of being of a different culture, the obstacles of being apart of a certain religion, after reading about people who were harassed for being overweight, or bullied because of the way they looked. I'm writing this because there are so many personal issues that every individual deals with in some way or another in his or her life.

We hear a handful of stories . . . but what about the pressures of being "pretty". I put comas on either side of the word 'pretty' because I think that beauty is in the eye of the beholder - and that's just my opinion. But either way, there is that stereotypical beautiful girl that we watch in movies, TV shows, read about in books, see in the magazines. And everyone assumes that she has it all made out for her, or for any gorgeous girl for that matter. And that's just not true.

So I know that delving into this subject might seem a bit strange. You might be thinking "The pressures of being drop dead gorgeous? Really, Julia? Really?" Um, yes really, because I think it's a real thing. Girls who are just being themselves, like anyone else in this world, are put down because they're "too pretty to understand". Again, I know it sounds quite odd, but I've dealt with these things growing up - and they're not good feelings, I can tell you that much. It's awkward, and it makes me feel horrible for being who I am. It's definitely a body shaming contributor, just in a different form. Feeling bad for being beautiful is a thing? When someone points it out because they're upset with themselves, yes. It makes you feel terrible because you don't know what to say and you feel like it's your fault . . . when it obviously isn't.

1. People think your life is easier.
That's one of the biggest pressures of being depicted as beautiful - people right off the bad usually assume that your life is perfect.
"You're gorgeous. At least guys look at you."
"You probably get anything you want because you're so pretty."
"You must have the best life."
"You're so skinny. You're so lucky."
First off, just because someone looks a certain way does not mean that their lives are this magical perfect fairy tale... because it doesn't work that way. And secondly, not everything in life is about looks, even though the media and society in general does a good job of washing our brains to think it does.

2. People belittle your feelings. (Unintentional or not...)
"You're too gorgeous, so you just don't understand what it's like to be ugly or fat or have nobody want to date you." I have two words to say to those people who throw that kind of logic around: Shut. Up. What? Just because people perceive me as pretty, that automatically means that I don't know what it's like to have insecurities? Because you're insecure about your looks means that I am not allowed to be insecure about mine? Please stop where you are, because that is absolutely false. Women can still be depicted as beautiful or whatever and STILL have a low self-esteem. So don't go telling females who are "seemingly perfect" that they don't understand. They're just as human as you are. When people say things like this, it makes us feel (well, me anyway) like we're robots, or that we are instantly emotionless all because we have a pretty face. Don't underestimate me. I don't know 100 percent how you feel, but I understand more than you think.

3. Making us feel guilty about how we look.
When people say things like "You're so skinny, it's not fair" or "At least you're pretty. At least guys will look at you. I'm an ugly cow", it makes me feel incredibly uncomfortable. I understand that they aren't always saying those things just to toss it around here and there, or to make me feel terrible - they say those things because they really are hurt with themselves. But either way, it's not fair to us. It makes us feel bad for being who we are, or for looking a certain way. We just are. We are just who we happen to be, and we just want to feel equal to everyone else regardless of how "pretty" we are. And sometimes, we don't know what to say when you say things like that. We want to tell you that you are beautiful (BECAUSE YOU ARE) but then we get shut down with things like "Whatever. You're just saying that. I'm ugly. You don't get it", and that's just an example. I've dealt with this most of my life and it sucks. And no, I'm not being a drama queen. It really does suck because I DO feel guilty, even though I shouldn't. But everyone deserves to know that they are all beautiful people.


I hope reading this brought a little insight. I'm not writing it to brag or to be an egocentric narcissistic human being. I wrote it because I've always felt this way. It's real.

"All the boys go for Julia" I remember an old friend telling me our junior year of high school. I could sense a hint of jealousy and anger in her voice, and it made my skin crawl. I didn't do anything wrong, and I shouldn't feel bad for who I am because other people don't like it. This is how I was stitched together, and it is not MY fault that you feel insecure. I know that sounds kind of harsh, but it's the truth. I know that the media doesn't help with peoples self esteem, but we shouldn't make other innocent people feel bad because we're upset in the moment. I know I'm kind of rambling and derailing here, so I'm going to get back on topic.

Bottom line: Nobody is as perfect as they seem on the outside. Please give me some credit, and give other people credit, too. Being "pretty" doesn't mean we don't understand or that we don't feel things.