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Presidential Debate BINGO

BINGO is the real competition that matters!

Sep 26, 2016

As Election Day looms, the competition between Hillary Clinton and Donald Trump will only intensify. During the debate on Monday, the rivals will meet and conflict will surely arise. Among groups of friends, I suspect a similar trend. In the spirit of deflecting awkward political tension, below is a BINGO game that makes fun of both candidates so no one takes herself too seriously.

Disclaimer: I know this isn’t really how BINGO works; I just don’t like drinking games but still wanted to make a game!

B	I	N	G	O
Either candidate misquotes the Bible.	Trump refuses to respond or gives an offensive response to Black Lives Matter.	Trump tries to appeal to women, but just says something offensive.	Clinton coughs. Trump has Ben Carson diagnose her with cancer.	Trump’s skin tone resembles an oompa loompa mixed with the minions in “Despicable Me.”
Clinton wears a pant suit.	Gary Johnson tries to crash the stage.	Trump fails to identify (insert globally relevant country or city here).	Bill Clinton says anything self-depricating.	Trump tries to explain how bankruptcy is good business practice.
Trump makes a dig at Clinton’s age or looks.	Clinton misuses “hype,” “shambles” or “fam” in an attempt to pander to millennials.	FREE SPACE: No one talks about global warming.	Clinton and Trump don't shake hands or Trump does a spit shake.	CNN sends out a breaking news alert at least six times.
Anderson Cooper looks disgusted at the current state of politics.	Knock Knock Who’s there? Interrupting cow. Interrupting cow wh— MOO	Clinton tries to speak Spanish, fails and calls Tim Kaine to be charming and save her.	Clinton has a nickname for Trump that’s better than “Crooked Hillary.”	A meme is born. Which candidate will it be? That’s the true contest.
Trump contradicts himself (must provide specific example to get points).	Clinton makes a bad joke about not understanding email. No one laughs.	~CELEBRITY CAMEO~	Both candidates wear red.	Both candidates wear blue.

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Presidential Debate BINGO

BINGO is the real competition that matters!

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Because have you ever had to endure grilling your foot on a George Foreman?

1. When he just wanted bacon from his George Foreman grill

2. When he had money (and Jan) issues

3. When he got upstaged at Phyllis' wedding

4. When he unintentionally saved Meredith from rabies

5. When he wore a "bisexual" suit

6. When he had to apologize to Jesus

7. When his GPS drove him into a lake

8. When he had to deal with Ryan as his boss

9. When he couldn't fulfill his most generous empty promise

10. When this happened

11. When he struggled with a X-Mas break up

12. When he had to defend his generosity

13. When he threw a classy Christmas party for Holly but she had a boyfriend

14. When he had to stand up to peer pressure

15. When Toby was "Toby-ish"

This isn't just for the single Pringles out there either, folks

Run Around Clanging Pots and Pans in Everyone's Face

Eat the Last Few Pigs in a Blanket

Pop Twelve White Grapes

Burn Something

Smash Things Against a Wall

Spontaneously Begin an Irish Jig

Call Your Mother

Throw a Coffee Table Out a Window

Sing "Auld Lang Syne" at the Top of Your Lungs

Do Some Squats

Swan Dive into a Nearly Freezing Body of Water

Take a Shot

Time to be merry and bright.

"First Noel" by Leslie Odom, Jr

"A Holly Jolly Christmas" by Burl Ives

"Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas" by Kelly Clarkson

"All I Want for Christmas Is You" by Mariah Carey

"Christmas (Baby Please Come Home" by Michael Buble

"Last Christmas" by Taylor Swift

"The Christmas Song" by Josh Groban

"White Christmas" by Idina Menzel

"O Holy Night" by David Archuleta

"Believe" by Josh Groban

"Les cloches du hameau" by Celine Dion

Or at least try to do.

1. I will wake up (sorta) on time for class.

2. I will look decent for class.

3. I will go to the gym more.

4. I will go to the library and study more.

5. I will meet new people.

For those long nights that turn into mornings when the struggle is real.

1. Walk in motivated and ready to rock

2. Disappointed you let it get this bad

3. Distracted: When a 10-Minute Break Becomes an Hour

4. When the Yearning for Sleep Sneaks Up

5. In the words of Lorelai Gilmore "Coffee, Coffee, Coffee"

Oh, so done.

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