Present Tense | The Odyssey Online
Start writing a post
Entertainment

Present Tense

Finding Momentum In Myself

20
Present Tense
Brenlife.org

A year ago I was probably at McDonald's discussing high school drama over $2 for two McChickens and a small order of fries. It was somewhere between the hours of 9 p.m. and 2 a.m. (before they started closing early), and we had likely been sitting there for a quite a while. For some reason, McDonald's was the safe haven of my senior year. If there was nothing else to do, it was sure to provide an entertaining conversation for the night.

Last August, I was probably running around barefoot in the dark not ready to think about my future so instead living every moment in the present. Making the best of that last summer of high schooler's bliss. Every bonfire was lit (literally and figuratively), every car jam session was thrilling, every summer excursion was fueled by the urgent feeling that all of this would soon be over and we couldn't know what was coming next so we had to make the best of right now.

Last fall I was probably sitting curled up in my little bottom bunk watching the sun set over the east village excitedly texting a new friend. I had only had a taste of college but it was enough to fuel a new kind of fire. Not urgent but exhilarating. Every moment was new and I relished in that freedom.

In the spring I was in my zone. School had settled in and friendships had grown. I loved being where I was and who I was. I lived with a feeling of lightness and comfort. I liked this new place I had started to feel a part of.

As a naturally nostalgic person, I easily get lost in a fantasy of recreating last year’s perfect summer while simultaneously missing college life. This past year so much has been changing and the stakes have been so high there was always something new to deal with. This constant forward momentum took me along with it. Now as the dust settles on my college textbooks sitting in my room back home and the quiet of the suburbs begins to feel less and less foreign, I’m starting to feel myself slow down. There is no status quo, urgency, exhilaration, or freedom. Only fleeting moments of what "Home" used to feel like and watching everyone around you live the life in your past. It's an odd feeling. Relationships have shifted. High school hierarchies are no longer applicable. And although it's fun to relive the good parts of being home, it almost feels monotonous. There is this weird in between where I crave both the future and the past.

I’m not yet sure how to remedy this. I really want to enjoy this summer without constantly comparing it or wishing I could go back to school already. I need to find a new momentum to pull myself out of this seemingly full stop. Of course, it’s only the beginning and who knows what will happen over the next few months. But I’m done waiting for what’s out of my control to pull me along. There is no use in thinking in past tense because that will only drag me backward. And the future is so unpredictable that there is nothing real there urging me onward. I’m ready to start working towards my goals and actively being in the moment. And in this moment, I’m vowing that this realization will drive me forward until September.

Report this Content
This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
Lifestyle

10 Truths About Being In A Sorority

(For Girls Who Are Interested In Greek Life)

1826
Sorority
Rebekah Lee

I remember my freshman year oh so well. I remember feeling terrified the night before orientation. The one thing that I dreaded the most was not the new people, the new environment, or even the academic pressure. I was dreading having to talk to sorority girls about Recruitment. I remember cutting off and avoiding any Rho Gamma/Panhellenic Officer that came my way during First Week. I looked at them like they had asked me to cut my arm off whenever they asked me if I wanted to rush. To be honest, I did not even know what rush was, but I knew that I did NOT want to be a part of it. To me, it was dumb. It was a waste of money. It was a waste of my time.

And guess what? I did not rush my freshman year. I spent the first half of my freshman year isolating myself from everyone on campus. I spent all of my time in the library, and then (since I was a commuter) went back home once my work was finished.

Keep Reading...Show less
10 Must Watch Shows During Winter Break
Netflix

Now that the semester is over, you are probably wondering what your purpose of life is beside writing essays and constantly studying. Breaks give you time for some rest and relaxation, and what better way to relax than cuddling with some hot cocoa and some Netflix. Here is a list compiled of shows that must make it into your binge watching sessions, with the website in which you can find it. Enjoy!

Keep Reading...Show less
Disney Princesses
The Odyssey
Tiana would no doubt be disappointed in the food our cafeteria has to offer.

And hopefully she would cook for everyone in her dorm.

She definitley would not take any 8:00 am classes because she would be up late baking and cleaning up the communal kitchen that are available in every dorm.

Keep Reading...Show less
Adulting

The Struggles of Being A Last Semester Senior, As Told By Michael Scott

25 reasons your last semester in college is the best and worst time of your life

1823
Michael Scott

The day you walked onto your school's campus for the first time you were scared, excited, and unsure of how the next four years of your life were going to turn out. You doubted it would go fast and even though you weren't positive about what your future plans would hold, you had plenty of time. You figured out your major, added a minor or two, joined a handful of organizations and all of the sudden you're here. Your final semester of undergrad. Now you've got 25 problems and graduation is only one.

Keep Reading...Show less
Student Life

Syllabus Week At UD Explained By "The Office"

"The Office" understands the struggle of the first week back from winter break.

1404
the office

January 19th is the first day of the second semester at the University of Dayton, and students couldn't be more excited. However, the excitement that students are experiencing may be short-lived once they see what this semester's courses will entail. Although students will be happy to be back at Dayton, they may realize this semester will be more difficult than they predicted. Here are some things that happen during syllabus week explained by " The Office."

Keep Reading...Show less

Subscribe to Our Newsletter

Facebook Comments