As I enter my final semester of college before I finally receive my bachelors degree, I slowly come to terms with the post graduation life. Keep in mind this is four months before that moment happens when I grab a piece of paper that has put me years in debt. I see the future me walking down the stage questioning the last four years and wondering was all this worth it?

Let's face it- paying student loans back is going to be a scary as shit experience. An even scarier thought it the fear of not getting a decent paying job after graduation has also been showing its ugly face in my nightmares.. and when I'm awake. I see all my classmates landing these amazing internships with promising futures attached to it and I contemplate my own education process and basically every choice I've made thus far.

I think of the Spongebob episode where Squidward is sitting in a cardboard box probably smelling like something horrid, needing a shave and clearly starving. He holds up a cup and asks for spare change. Now if you're like me and you live in New York City, this is a sad but not rare scenario. However, the closer I get to graduation, the more this image resonates with me.

This is how I sometimes see my future self. Now thanks to a great support system and a set of pretty amazing parents, this will probably not be my reality. However, the thought that this scene has crossed my mind just shows how scared I, and probably many others, are of their lives after graduation.

I will send out my resume as if it were a lost dog sign and hope that some wonderful and perhaps semi desperate person reaches it and will give me the chance to prove my skills. The one thing I don't doubt is my determination to succeed in the career path I've chosen. The other thing I'm sure of is that I'm scared shitless that this won't happen.

Unfortunately unlike many others, my people skills begin and end with ordering food for delivery on the phone. My experience in retail has only taught me I have very little patience for human interaction. The times I spent waiting tables showed me that not only are people insanely dense but small children piss me the hell off. If you put all these "skills" together on a piece of paper, you would see outside my field I'm pretty useless.

So here I sit not even a month into my final semester, dreading the unavoidable outcome that one day I will have to hunt for an apartment that is hopefully being paid for by a job that I know I can do. With fingers crossed I pray that it works out for not only myself but for every other college student in my situation.