When we watch our former love move on and get into a new relationship, our first thought may be to curse their name. Depending on how the relationship ended, it may kill us to see the person we once loved attempt to find love in someone else. We may wish the worst to them because if the relationship we tried so hard to preserve couldn't work out, we don't want our ex finding love with anyone else.
For a while, I used to be that ex. I would hope for nothing but the complete worst for this poor girl, someone I had never even met. She was an enemy to me, and I hoped like hell her heart would get broken, too. However, as I continue to shift perspectives on dating and grow as a person, I've changed my thoughts. I don't wish the worst for my ex's new love, in fact, I'm praying for her.
And no, this isn't some gimmick type thing where I say I pray that her tires blow out or that her cat dies or that he breaks her heart like he broke mine. I'm genuinely praying for this girl and for their relationship.
I pray that she doesn't fall for his toxic behavior. I know how he can be, and I pray she's strong enough to get past it. If he starts to hurt her, I pray she's strong enough to see he isn't going to change. I pray she is exactly what he wants because I know more than anyone he just needs a fun girl with a lot of heart to make his life complete. I've accepted that girl will never be me, so I hope that if it's not, it's now the girl that he's investing in. That he's happier with.
I pray that the two of them communicate and work out their problems and that they grow together into better, stronger people. Not communicating in a relationship can cause a lot of problems, as it did with him and I. I hope that isn't their fall. I hope the odds are more on their side.
Sometimes, in order to find our own closure, we can no longer hope for the worst for our ex and their new partner. Instead, we need to shift our mindset and hope that things work out for them. After all, this used to be the person you loved. Why would you wish bad things upon someone who used to mean the world to you? Don't you want them to be happy and in a relationship that makes them feel complete? Not every relationship we get in is meant to work out. Love just isn't that simple. We have to get our heart broken, we have to learn, we have to grow.
In order to move on, to be happy, and to no longer think that my ex is someone I still I have a future with, I need to pray for his new girlfriend. I need to pray that she is who makes him happy, who he will one day marry. Someone who can help him be his best self. Not wishing them the best does nothing but hurt me, and I don't need to be hurt by him anymore.