At this point in my life, I am junior in college, and every one of my friends seem to have it all together. They are either getting married, getting engaged, having children or even on their way to graduating college. At 20 years old, this is all too overwhelming for me. I can't even decide what to wear in the morning, much less choose who I want to spend the rest of my life with. Don't get me wrong, I am overjoyed for several of my friends who are currently planning their upcoming nuptials, but I can't help but wonder who my future husband could be.
Do I already know him?
Have we met before?
What if he's halfway across the world right now?
And there ever tragic thought: What if he's already dating someone and we won't meet?
Maybe I'm just crazy and I have way too much time on my hands to ponder these ridiculous thoughts about my nonexistent relationship, but these are things I really do think about.
But then my overwhelming panic is followed by peace, because I know I must trust in the Lord. He has a plan for me, whether that means finding someone to spend the rest of my life with very soon or to patiently, (sometimes not-so-patiently) wait for the man He has ever so carefully molded for me. This past week, I suddenly began to doubt God's plan. (Silly, right?) So, I began to do what I do best to calm my worries and doubts -- write.
After almost an hour of writing my prayers, worries, praises and requests I kept coming back to a prayer that was laid on my heart:
"Lord,
I know there is no greater love than yours, but I hope to find a love that is honest and true -- Love that will turn to you above all worldly doings. A love that will stand up and above all others. A love like yours.
I hope to find joy in this person and peace in their ambitions. I hope to keep and guard my heart when I find this true love. I hope that for the time being, I can see the goodness that you are trying to show me.
I hope to bring joy to others by showing them your love through my actions. Please, God, grant me the peace, discernment, love and guidance from you and from others in order to do this."
I quickly found myself pouring out my heart to God, immediately feeling surrounded by His love. Not only did I experience the power of prayer, but I have felt moved to share this prayer to others - that just one person may find the peace in it that I discovered.
I do not expect to be ready to give someone my heart if it is not ready to receive one also. Guard your heart-- discern graciously, and love genuinely. These things will help you become the person whom someone desires to have in their life.
