Dear Lord,

I am often conflicted. I often find myself conflicted about what my environment is saying and this high calling you have put within me. It calls me out.

It leads to outgrowing people. It leads to outgrowing activities that I used to find fun. You set me apart. You set me apart from the things that are like this world because this is not my home. I come to you conflicted because I'm not always sure what to do with this fight.

You put this conviction within my spirit that makes me different from the people I'm around. Now I feel convicted about their gossiping. Now I feel convicted about treating myself better. Now I feel convicted about not working on my dreams. Now I feel convicted about my prejudice ways. Now I feel convicted about leaving people out.

I'm in awe because I can see you shaping me to have a heart like Jesus. You convict me about not being compassionate and empathetic about people because Jesus has a heart like this. I'm in awe in the way you're using me God but it makes me so different.

I feel so vulnerable all the time. My differences make me feel so exposed and uncomfortable. What about that? Don't you care that I feel this way?

The truth is that you made me different. I have to accept this. Lord help me to accept this truth. Help me to accept this truth that I am just different. Help me to accept that I can't be like the world that I am trying to change.

I can't keep the behaviors that I am trying to change. I can't keep the same dysfunctions and generational issues that I am trying to eradicate from my family. I can't maintain the same ideology of thought as the thought life that I am trying to transform in my community.

Help me to see that I am set-apart and "put away" sometimes not because I am worthless but because I am so valuable. You value me so much and have invested so much in me to not let me be in certain relationships and ways of thinking.

I am THAT important to you. I am THAT valuable to you. You have put something within me that is THAT valuable, more than I will ever know.

I accept that I am different. I accept that challenge of wherever you desire to take me Lord. I am yours. I belong to you. You can do whatever you desire to with me because I am yours. I accept whatever I must endure to experience your glory and help others to have this relationship with you as well.

I trust you. I love you. I want to grow in you. My differences make me beautiful. My differences come from a perfect God that makes no mistakes. I am blessed beyond measure to be chosen by God as a vessel for His kingdom.

I am so blessed that such a perfect King has allowed me to be used for His glory. God is with me and is pleased with the suffering I may endure for His glory. He is pleased with this and rewards me for doing so.

I can not reap with Him if I don't suffer with Him. He has sacrificed unimaginable pain so that we can be together. Everything else afterwards has been nothing but favor.

I love you Lord.

In Jesus' name I pray,

Amen.