It is with a heavy heart that I write these words on this page. Words that I feel I've had to say too many times: I am both saddened and frustrated at what this country has become.

Every time a notification from CNN pops up on my phone, before I can even read it, my heart speeds up a bit and I get worried. There's actually a process that my mind goes through:

1. Who died?

2. How many people have died?

3. Repeat.

Living in America should not be like that. If I'm being honest living anywhere shouldn't be like that. But the harsh reality is that it is like that. And what's even scarier is that these tragedies are happening miles away from me.

Sunday morning I woke up to news that at least 7 police officers in Baton Rouge had been shot and 3 were dead. There was a 911 call reporting a man walking down the highway carrying an assault rifle. He was dressed in all black and wearing a mask. It is believed that this was a conspiracy to lure police to the scene.

“This is an unspeakable and unjustified attack on all of us at a time when we need unity and healing. Rest assured, every resource available to the State of Louisiana will be used to ensure the perpetrators are swiftly brought to justice. For now, I’m asking all Louisianans to join Donna and me in praying for the officers who were involved and their families as the details continue to unfold.”

- Gov. John Bel Edwards

The only thing that can motivate someone to do such a thing is hate. This was an act of domestic terrorism and it was a hate crime against the men and women in blue.

Blue Lives Matter.

And no, that isn't a contradiction of Black Lives Matter. The Black Lives Matter Movement is not an anti-police movement. The senseless killing of police officers is not a part of the fight for an equal and fair justice system.

My heart breaks for the officers that were murdered but I am also hurt by the murders of Alton Sterling and Philando Castile. It is possible to grieve for all of them. It's called being human.

If we focus more on being human and spreading love rather than hate, this country can be great. Not great again as some people think it once was but better than it ever was and better than it is now. The only thing that can drive out hate is love.

The Bible teaches us to love thy neighbor. It is not for us to judge them or decide their fate in life because of mistakes they have made. Our only job is to love each other.

Rather than promoting things like why this country should resort to martial law or other insane tactics, promote love.