Picture this: it's a Thursday night, you should be studying for some test you know you have coming up but instead, you are 20 scoops into a carton of Ben and Jerry's and 4 seasons into binge-watching "New Girl" because... Priorities ya know?
Anyways, I was scrolling through my hidden Instagram the other day (sorry mom) and was stalking myself (you do this too, don't deny it) and I had a realization moment within myself. I have grown so much as a person in the last five months. I mean, yeah, I know every day you learn more about the world and the people in it but I had a realization moment that I was growing as a person and faster than I ever thought I would be.
If you have been following my writing you will know I had my first major heartbreak five months ago, I was dating someone who simply no longer loved me anymore. Whenever we broke up I used to write or really do anything I could to avoid the thought of him and the reality of what we were.
As I was reading my old posts and journal entries I sat back and laughed about how foolish I was to think I would never get over my high school boyfriend.
But thank God I was so wrong.
For starters, this is not an article about how much I hate him or how terrible he was. Because neither are true and I only hope for good things in his life.This article is for my girls with broken hearts who are looking for hope that it get's better, because I remember being you and wishing for something like that.
The phrase "time heals everything" could not be truer and you will never realize how true it is until you have walked through the storm God has asked you to walk through. When we first broke up, the first few weeks would feel like years. My life was an emotional roller coaster, sent spiraling into a corkscrew after overhearing an inside joke we used to laugh about. To say I was a hot mess would be an understatement.
This cycle continued for about 2 months until one day, I woke up and he was not the first thing that crossed my mind. I stopped stalking his social media and stopped blaming myself for what I could have or should have done. And slowly but surely, I realized that our end was just the beginning of a life I began to create for myself. As each month without him went by I started to realize that I made him out to be greater than what he really was. Like I said before he is not a bad person, he just wasn't the person for me.
To my girls who feel like they'll never move on, hold onto the phrase "time heals everything." I know what you're going through, I have been you and most likely will be you again at some point in my life again. This breakup may feel like the end of the world to you and maybe you really did love him "SOOO MUCH" but I promise you it really does get better and you learn to love life without him again.
Today I write to you as someone who has been there and survived it. My days are brighter and I went from thinking about him every single day to hardly, or never at all. I laugh so much harder and have made so many friends and experienced so much more in these past 5 months than I ever did when I was with him. I may have lost who I thought was the "love of my life" at that time but I fell in love with myself in the process of loosing him and for some reason that was everything.
xo.
