For many of us, college is the first time in our lives that we are forced into a 12 x 13 foot dungeon called a dorm room. This tiny space becomes our sleeping grounds, study nook, and sanctuary when a little “me” time is needed. All of our essential belongings are tucked away in (or all over the floor of) this space that becomes our temporary home. The idea of sharing what little privacy we have with another person is enough to consider homeschooling, yet there is something to be learned from the experience of having a roommate.

We know that college is the first time we are on our own- but are we really? This newfound freedom that is spoken so highly of can be cramped by the fact that we are sharing our only private space with another person (or more). Although your mother is no longer yelling for you to help her unload the groceries from the car, you now have your roommate yelling at her boyfriend on the phone about who knows what. Finallyyou can stay out past midnight, which is amazing, except when you have a 7 a.m. exam and your roommate is waltzing through the door, flipping on the lights, and stumbling to find her bed 3 hours before it. How can we enjoy the experience of learning to be on our own and in our own environment if we are not ever alone?

The answer is in the incredible, personal growth you develop from the experience of having a roommate. It starts with acceptance. College is the time to venture out and meet people that you would not normally approach, and choosing a roommate is the first step. Although he or she may talk in a strange way or wear clothes that you would not pick out in a million years, you see up-close and for the first time that the world is full of people that are different than you. By living with another person, one who may be a complete stranger, you are putting yourself into an utterly vulnerable situation in which you must make yourself comfortable. These types of situations are much like those we will find ourselves in throughout our future careers, relationships, and the rest of our lives.

Another essential lesson we gain from living with a roommate is tolerance. Roomies love to borrow your clothes and eat your food. It is truly aggravating to open your last box of Wheat Thins and see nothing but crumbs, or to pull your favorite top from the closet only to see that the taco stain your roommate gifted it with has not fully washed out. As much as we would like to avoid these many annoyances, having a roommate forces us to be patient. We learn that not every issue is a meltdown-worthy crisis, which will lead us to a more stress-free and happy life!

The experience of learning to be on our own is much more than actually being alone. We learn how to handle the curveballs that life throws without running to our parents for an answer or way out. Having a roommate provides challenges that turn into crucial learning experiences, and therefore, personal growth for the future ahead.