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5 Imagined Slice-Of-Life Moments That Will Probably Be Me After I Graduate

Gotta keep my expectations low.

Shannon Blackler

Feb 28, 2018

The State University of New York at Stony Brook

106

5 Imagined Slice-Of-Life Moments That Will Probably Be Me After I Graduate

Asdrubal luna

With graduation just a few months away, I've been spending time thinking about what life will be like post-undergrad.

I've been in school for as long as I can remember, so I'm eager to see what life's all about without the 40 minutes I sit in the car commuting to campus, the 1 hour and 20 minutes I sit in a chair in class, and the 40 hours I probably sit in a computer chair at home (or somewhere on campus) tapping away on a dirty, crumb-coated keyboard getting work done.

I'm no expert, but here's what I imagine life might look like after I snatch my diploma and trip over my feet like the graceful gremlin I am.

1. MORE hours spent sitting a chair at home, looking for jobs

Even in my fantasies, I don't get an immediate job offer. Gotta keep my expectations low.

2. Throwing out my entire closet and replacing it with fitted blazers and pleated pants

You have to always be dressed for success! What if a job falls from the sky and hits you in the face at full-speed?!

3. Frequenting coffee shops in the hopes of eavesdropping on a conversation about job openings

Listen in for keywords like "position," "benefits," and "opening." Also, be sure the person isn't talking about sex.

4. Taking multiple "which career is perfect for you" quizzes online

Don't you dare tell me I'd make an awesome teacher. THE JOB MARKET IS TERRIBLE!

5. Dreaming about being offered your dream job, waking up, realizing it didn't actually happen, and going back to sleep majorly disappointed in yourself

I guess "In your dreams!" is a psychological issue here, huh?

Well, looks like post-undergrad means an obsession about getting a job. Better keep my LinkedIn header image color-coordinated with my profile photo!

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.

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5 Imagined Slice-Of-Life Moments That Will Probably Be Me After I Graduate

Gotta keep my expectations low.

1. MORE hours spent sitting a chair at home, looking for jobs

2. Throwing out my entire closet and replacing it with fitted blazers and pleated pants

3. Frequenting coffee shops in the hopes of eavesdropping on a conversation about job openings

4. Taking multiple "which career is perfect for you" quizzes online

5. Dreaming about being offered your dream job, waking up, realizing it didn't actually happen, and going back to sleep majorly disappointed in yourself

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The holiday season can be the best and most stressful time of the year, especially when more people are involved.

1. The Family Traditions

2. Enough food for an actual army

3. Never enough space

4. Always Loud & Never Boring

5. Parties. Parties. Parties.

6. Scheduling

7. Travelling

8. The family members you see once a year

9. DRAMA

10. The questions about life

AKA, Christmas overload.

I'm technically an adult, so I'm legally required to live a little, right?

1. Watch an R-rated Scary Movie in a Movie Theater

2. Buy a Lottery Ticket

3. Vote in an Election

4. Participate in a Run (or a Walk, Realistically) for Charity

5. Go on a Road Trip

6. Start a Savings Account

7. Get a Credit Card

8. Sign up for Spotify Premium

9. Go to a Club

10. Start a Meditation Routine

11. Go to a Yoga Class

12. Treat Myself to a Dinner for One

13. Volunteer for a Charity

14. Participate in a Research Study

15. Bake Something (That Ends Up Being Edible)

16. Go Skydiving

17. Be Called for Jury Duty

18. Figure Out What I Want to Do With my Life

The holiday classics that shaped my life

1."But what would happen if we all tried to be like Santa and learned to give as only he can give: of ourselves, our talents, our love and our hearts? Maybe we could all learn Santa's beautiful lesson and maybe there would finally be peace on Earth and good will toward men."

"Sometimes the most real things in the world are the things we can't see."

"If you won't use your heart, who cares if it gets broken? If you just keep it to yourself, maybe it'll be like my rollerblades. When you do decide to try it, it won't be any good. You should take a chance. Got nothing to lose."

"Remember, no man is a failure who has friends."

"Life is made up of meetings and partings. That is the way of it."

"If you look for it, I've got a sneaky feeling you'll find a that love actually is all around."

"Sometimes things look good on paper, but lose their luster when you see how it affects real folks. I guess a healthy bottom line doesn't mean much if to get it, you have to hurt the ones you depend on."

"'Maybe Christmas,' he thought, 'doesn't come from a store. Maybe Christmas, perhaps, means a little bit more.'"

"Faith is believing when common sense tells you not to."

"There's room for everyone on the nice list."

Hopefully they will make you laugh.

1. Why are towels considered dirty when you get out of the shower clean?

2. Who closes the bus door once the bus driver gets off?

3. Why is there a "d" in "fridge" but not in "refrigerator"?

4. If you drop soap on the floor is the floor clean or the soap dirty?

5. Is the "S" or the "C" silent in the word "scent"?

6. Does expecting the unexpected make the unexpected the expected?

7. Would Lightning McQueen buy car insurance or life insurance?

8. Who put the alphabet in alphabetical order?

9. What color are mirrors?

10. If 2 mind readers read each other's minds whose mind are they really reading?

11. Is there a synonym for "synonym"?

12. If your shirt isn't tucked into your pants, are your pants tucked into your shirt?

13. Why is it called "quick sand" if you sink slowly in it?

14. If I try to fail, but succeed, which one did I do?

15. If Cinderella's shoe fit perfectly, why did it fall off?

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