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5 Imagined Slice-Of-Life Moments That Will Probably Be Me After I Graduate

Gotta keep my expectations low.

Shannon Blackler

Feb 28, 2018

The State University of New York at Stony Brook

106

5 Imagined Slice-Of-Life Moments That Will Probably Be Me After I Graduate

Asdrubal luna

With graduation just a few months away, I've been spending time thinking about what life will be like post-undergrad.

I've been in school for as long as I can remember, so I'm eager to see what life's all about without the 40 minutes I sit in the car commuting to campus, the 1 hour and 20 minutes I sit in a chair in class, and the 40 hours I probably sit in a computer chair at home (or somewhere on campus) tapping away on a dirty, crumb-coated keyboard getting work done.

I'm no expert, but here's what I imagine life might look like after I snatch my diploma and trip over my feet like the graceful gremlin I am.

1. MORE hours spent sitting a chair at home, looking for jobs

Even in my fantasies, I don't get an immediate job offer. Gotta keep my expectations low.

2. Throwing out my entire closet and replacing it with fitted blazers and pleated pants

You have to always be dressed for success! What if a job falls from the sky and hits you in the face at full-speed?!

3. Frequenting coffee shops in the hopes of eavesdropping on a conversation about job openings

Listen in for keywords like "position," "benefits," and "opening." Also, be sure the person isn't talking about sex.

4. Taking multiple "which career is perfect for you" quizzes online

Don't you dare tell me I'd make an awesome teacher. THE JOB MARKET IS TERRIBLE!

5. Dreaming about being offered your dream job, waking up, realizing it didn't actually happen, and going back to sleep majorly disappointed in yourself

I guess "In your dreams!" is a psychological issue here, huh?

Well, looks like post-undergrad means an obsession about getting a job. Better keep my LinkedIn header image color-coordinated with my profile photo!

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.

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Recommended for you

5 Imagined Slice-Of-Life Moments That Will Probably Be Me After I Graduate

Gotta keep my expectations low.

1. MORE hours spent sitting a chair at home, looking for jobs

2. Throwing out my entire closet and replacing it with fitted blazers and pleated pants

3. Frequenting coffee shops in the hopes of eavesdropping on a conversation about job openings

4. Taking multiple "which career is perfect for you" quizzes online

5. Dreaming about being offered your dream job, waking up, realizing it didn't actually happen, and going back to sleep majorly disappointed in yourself

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Or at least try to do.

1. I will wake up (sorta) on time for class.

2. I will look decent for class.

3. I will go to the gym more.

4. I will go to the library and study more.

5. I will meet new people.

For those long nights that turn into mornings when the struggle is real.

1. Walk in motivated and ready to rock

2. Disappointed you let it get this bad

3. Distracted: When a 10-Minute Break Becomes an Hour

4. When the Yearning for Sleep Sneaks Up

5. In the words of Lorelai Gilmore "Coffee, Coffee, Coffee"

Oh, so done.

You need sleep, but also have 13 things due in the span of 4 days.

1. When it's December 1 and you have seven things due, three exams, and haven't slept in three days.

2. So you stress.

3. And cry.

4. Then call your mom to cry some more.

5. After the pep talk, you feel determined to get everything done.

6. But, now you're tired.

7. And really hungry.

8. Suddenly, it's 2 a.m. and you have only written three sentences and your paper is due in the morning.

9. You've made it to Friday... somehow.

10. Then Sunday hits and you find yourself back at the Lib.

11. So you cry some more.

12. But, you fight through the tears to get everything done because you're determined.

13. In the end, you feel on top of the world because you made it through the last week of class alive.

14. But, now it's finals week so good luck.

The ultimate list and gif guide to a college student's brain during finals.

What does the world outside the library look like?

Can I read this entire book tonight?

I should have gone to class more often.

Did the professor even teach this?

What is the lowest grade I can get on this exam and still pass the class?

Should I just drop out of school now?

Finals are ruining Christmas.

Just wrote three sentences so time for a break.

Need. More. Coffee.

What is sleep?

I'm too stupid for college.

Brain hurts.

Time for a Facebook Break.

I think I'm dying.

When will I ever need this information in the real world?

I can't read any of my notes.

I need my mom.

When was the last time I showered?

I need study snacks.

The struggle is so real right now.

"I want to thank Google, Wikipedia, and whoever else invented copy and paste. Thank you."

1. I'm so tired. I need a nap. Maybe I can sleep with my eyes open in class? Or pretend I'm not napping?

2. We have a test today? Why didn't anyone tell me? Did I know this?!

3. Can I quit school yet? It's only October, and I need a vacation.

4. The struggle is so real.

5. I'm so broke. SOS.

6. Stressed? Eat everything you own in your pantry and stuff your face with all your feelings.

7. "Did we have anything due in class today? Homework? Quiz? Test?" "Not that I know of..."

8. I need food. Where is the closest place to get food? I need it stat.

9. This is the longest day of my life. I need a drink, or two, or three.

10. Sleep? What is sleep? What a foreign concept.

11. When someone suggests going and studying in the library, let alone studying in general.

12. When the cafeteria or student center is packed and you can't find a seat anywhere so you literally have to sit in an abandoned corner.

13. When you see someone you used to hook up with. They see you, and approach you; so you have to pretend like everything is normal.

14. When you get your exam and realize you didn't study as much as you should have.

15. When you crush it on an exam or paper that you totally bullshitted.

16. I need a grande, extra strong coffee to get me through today.

17. When the professor announces you have a project due the following week with no instruction on what it's on and how to do it.

18. Is it Friday yet? Where's the weekend when you need it most?

19. It's freezing in here. I feel like I'm sitting in an igloo. I should have brought a jacket or worn long pants.

20. Did I remember my book? Damn, I forgot the book, and of course I need it for that quiz in class.

21. I would pay a million dollars to not go to class today; or actually never again.

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