Well America, here we are. It has been a few days since the election and the country is still in shock, as am I. When I address my emotions when it comes to the election, I get a slew of different emotions: hope, fear, anxiety, confusion, and an indistinguishable sense of grief and loss. I have hope that the future won't be as bad as I think that or that anyone thinks for that matter. But mostly all of my emotions are negative ones. I will come out and say that I voted for Hillary Clinton but so did most of my demographic which would be college students.

I was particularly excited for this election because much like the rest of my demographic, this was the first election that we were able to vote in. I was going to go and do my civic duty, experience the polls, get my sticker (which I didn’t get and I am still VERY bitter), take a cute picture, and post it on social media much like my other friends to signal this milestone in our lives. But as the election started to ramp up I pretty much hated all the candidates. I never felt the Bern, I never hopped aboard the Trump Train, I didn’t really want to Be With Her, and to be honest not one single candidate did really anything for me. This really disappointed me and discouraged me when it came to voting in the first place. For the longest time, I wasn’t going to vote at all. What really made me sad is that I didn’t get to full on back a candidate like so many people do and I feel like that’s a big part of the election experience that I missed out on.

As the election started to ramp up and the candidate choices dwindled down to Trump and Clinton, I finally sided with Clinton. I feel that this shouldn’t be much of a surprise to anyone since I am a 19-year old female college student. But coming from a family with a heavy Republican background, it was hard since I was going against what I thought I identified with before, the beliefs that my parents instilled in me. But do you know what the beauty is in all this? Throughout this whole election, I got to pave the way for my own beliefs and vote on behalf of me and not my parents. Voting is one milestone my demographic experienced but establishing our own beliefs and thoughts that weren’t our parents was another huge milestone that I feel is the most important.

But in lieu of all the events that happened, there is something else brand new that I experienced: genuine fear. Growing up, things weren’t really real for me. During the last election I was 15 years old and I had no idea what was going on when it came to the elections and issues besides what my parents told me. But now, being of legal age to vote, I submersed myself in this election and all of the issues that were being taken up and I am just scared… there is really no other way to put it. Donald Trump wants to tear apart the Affordable Care Act within his first 100 days and whether you know this or not, when he does this, millions upon millions of people will lose their health care with my family more than likely being in the category. The health care system has come out and said that this would be a “nightmare situation” and no one who voted for Trump finds this just a little concerning? This year, our country has come so far on social issues like LGTBQ rights, race issues, women’s rights, and so many more, but Donald doesn’t stand for any of those things and I feel that our country is going to jump back 50 years. I have to think that something is wrong when all of my LGTBQ friends and family are scared for their future in this country. Millions of families are going to be split up with his new immigration policies and his only feasible way to control immigration is to build a wall. The US was built on immigrants, why are we now deciding that no one is allowed in who isn’t white? There are so many issues and I can’t go through all of them but I am not here to talk about why I voted one way.

What upsets me most about this election was the aftermath. The sadness that was felt the day after the election was unreal and it is something that I have never felt before. This dark, fearful, uncertain feeling hung over the country like a fog. The nasty way that people are treating each other over this election is barbaric and the way the candidates conducted themselves (mostly Trump) and the things they said about each other is something I never hope to see again. But in darkness, there will be a light that shines through. The future may be uncertain but the whole country has to come together, support each other, and have hope. Hope gets us through the darkest of times but together we'll move forward.