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It still hurts

Why a breakup hurts, no matter the circumstances

Maddie Lesko

Nov 06, 2018

University of Rhode Island

142

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Dealing with a breakup is ultimately a struggle. As long as there were feelings involved, it hurts. Time does not matter, nor does anything else really. The things that do matter are the memories you made, the laughs, the jokes, everything that was once good in a relationship. The good memories; wherein that point in time, you wondered how you could ever live without this person. The memories where you questioned if you're ever going to break up because everything seems so perfect. Because when you look back on those memories, you wonder how things could have taken such a drastic turn.

"You Deserve Better"

Whenever anyone goes through a breakup, the people around them try to support the person by telling them they deserve better. They will tell you that you can do better. They will pick on your ex for little things to try to show you why this is true. Maybe to crack a smile, make you laugh, bring some light back into your eyes. The problem is, it still hurts. Even if you have come to the realization that you can do better or that you do deserve better, the pain is still there. Feelings were once there, and that doesn't just go away.

"Can we stay friends?"

After a breakup, it is too difficult for many to jump to being friends. When you once shared a connection with someone that was more intimate, it's hard to just drop that and look at them in a completely different way. It hurts to hear the words, "I want to remain friends." For many, this may be a relief. But for me, this was a knife to my heart. I could not fathom how someone could want to jump from a relationship to a friendship so quickly. I still felt that I needed time to heal. This made me realize he did not need that time to heal. In fact, it showed that he was perfectly fine if he could go on with his day, seeing me as a friend, and not wanting more. It then hit me; did he ever even like me? If he did, it clearly was not as much as I liked him. It hurts. This hurts. It all hurts.

Seeing you around

I obviously don't want to sound bitter. I want my ex to be happy. I don't hate him. I do want the best for him. We had many good memories once before, and I can't choose to ignore that. But seeing him around is painful. This is because I wouldn't just "see him around" before. I would be with him. Or I would see him and join him on whatever he was about to partake in. Now, it's as if that had never happened; as if we're strangers. I obviously eventually want him to find a girl one day that he will love and cherish. It would simply be selfish of me if I said otherwise. But, it's going to hurt. It's going to hurt me because I will be wondering what she has that I don't. I will be questioning why he could stay with her, but breakup with me. It will hurt seeing that I could not make him happy enough to stay.

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.

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10 ways to prepare for finals week—beginning with getting to the library.

Who knows where we would be without them.

1. Thank you for laughing at my jokes, even when they really aren’t funny.

2. Thank you for singing unbearably loud with me all the time.

3. Thank you for letting me vent to you for hours about anything and basically being my personal therapist.

4. Thank you for ordering pizza with me at 2 in the morning.

5. Thank you for all the movie days when we don’t feel like moving.

6. Thank you for being my workout buddy everyday.

7. Thank you for sharing your closets with me.

8. Thank you for taking naps with me at random hours during the day.

9. Thank you for cleaning our home with me when we absolutely need to.

10. Thank you for all the rides when it’s late and you don’t want me to walk home alone in the dark.

11. Thank you for studying with me in our kitchen when we didn't want to go the library.

12. Thank you for making dinner with me.

13. Thank you for helping with my hair, makeup and outfit every time we go out.

14. Thank you for taking countless ugly pictures with me.

15. Thank you for not judging me when I go too long without showering.

16. Thank you for making our apartment feel like a second home.

17. Thank you for being there through all of our boy troubles.

18. Thank you for giving me a hug when I feel homesick.

19. Thank you for getting excited with me when one of us gets a good grade on an exam.

20. Thank you for still being my friend and not judging me when I say or do dumb things.

21. Thank you for telling me what I should do when I am sick.

22. Thank you for dancing horribly with me everywhere we go.

23. Thank you for staying up super late with me when we aren’t tired or can’t sleep.

24. Thank you for being super weird with me.

25. Thank you for all the unforgettable college memories.

26. And most of all, thank you for being the best friends a girl could have.

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8. "I’m dropping out of school."

9. "What grade do I have to get on the final to pass the class?"

10. "Oh, no, I have to do good."

11. "I shouldn’t have procrastinated all semester."

12. "I wanna go to bed."

13. "We did not learn this!"

14. "I should go get food."

15. "Why do we even have finals?"

16. "I don’t want to be at the library."

17. "Get off your phone."

18. "I can watch Netflix for like 20 minutes and then go back to studying."

19. "I shouldn’t have watched Netflix."

20. "You have to study now!"

The "Happiest Place on Earth" has a lot of characters with some pretty great advice.

Remember you’re the one who can fill the world with sunshine. — Snow White

The past can hurt. But the way I see it, you can either run from it or learn from it. — Rafiki

You don't have time to be timid. You must be bold and daring. — Lumière

If watching is all you're gonna do, then you're gonna watch your life go by without ya. — Laverne

Sometimes the right path is not the easiest one. — Grandmother Willow

Always let your conscience be your guide. — Jiminy Cricket

To infinity and beyond. — Buzz Lightyear

Life is a journey to be experienced, not a problem to be solved. — Pooh

Let it go. — Elsa

If you can't say something nice, don't say nothin' at all. — Thumper

Today's special moments are tomorrow's memories. — Genie

It's a time of love, family, memory-making, and gift-giving. But also a time of stressing over the perfect gift.

Money

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Candles

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