If you want a shining, colorful example of what action constitutes what is commonly referred to as “white-knighting,” look no further than this piece.

Why? It’s suspicious that a man whose homepage is on Playboy, a company in the porn industry whose producers pressure women to pose even when they’re crying, would write about respecting women’s boundaries.

Now, if I may address you directly, Zaron Burnett III, I would like to know who you talked to that inspired you write such a bold generalization of the constant helplessness of women around you. Which women are in danger every moment of their lives? The women surrounded by men who collectively watched 4 billion hours of pornography in 2015? The same pornography that Playboy produces?

Doing everything in your power to make women feel safe in public is certainly a gentlemanly thing to do, but you’re going to be at a loss to make everyone feel invulnerable. Everyone is vulnerable in public, even you, regardless if you feel it or not. We trust each other to not be psychotic and be civil every moment we’re in public.

All this seems like you’re doing is confirming the superstitions of a minority of women who live in a world where all men are rapists in hiding.

You continue to confirm this superstition by comparing men to snakes. Informed people know how to tell what snakes are poisonous from those who are not. To continue your metaphor, are you implying that women who feel vulnerable ought to become informed about tell-tale signs of what rapists look like? The page you yourself cited gives a statistic of a positive correlation between rapists and past criminal history.

On a personal note, it frustrates me when I hear the constant refrain “If a woman is intoxicated, it means ‘No’” as though I don’t already know that. All this mantra offends men who already know better. Rapists, by definition, don’t care about it. It accomplishes nothing.

You want to know where sexual violence toward women is normalized, excused, and in fact is used as a means of entertainment? Pornography. In case you forgot, it’s that same product that Playboy produces.

If you have an entitlement problem, don’t project that on the rest of us gentlemen.

What worries me about your bullet points is your inability to recognize contexts in which any of the situational points could actually be true. That’s why we have a justice system which operates on “innocent until proven guilty.” It’s not perfect, but it keeps totalitarians at bay who would use “guilty until proven innocent” to create political prison camps.

Which brings me to the bullet point I have the biggest problem with; “Refusing to take rape accusations seriously.” They are taken seriously. That’s how false rape reports you have such a problem with occur. Every crime is taken seriously when people do the work to report it.

Let me get something straight here.

“Rape culture is... the product of a generalized attitude of male supremacy.”

However, “Men shouldn’t feel threatened or attacked when women point out rape culture — they’re telling us about our common enemy.”

So a social system created by men to put men on top of the societal food chain is bad for them? I would also point out how strange it is that such a system would result in men being ashamed of being raped. If anything, such a system would encourage male victimhood.

Let’s pretend that I’m a horrible human being and I live in this system. A woman I don’t like has just made me very angry on my worst day ever. I know I can make her feel the full wrath of the patriarchy with a rape report, even though it’s not true. To review, I’m a male in a patriarchy sitting on top of a system that allows me to abuse women. She’s out of luck.

Let me see if I can accurately represent what you’re saying to men when you give a list of suggestions of how they can combat rape culture;

“Men, you must unlearn everything you learned from pornography. Yes, the very same pornography that features me on their website.”

Sound accurate?

Do you have a suggestion for what to do if your words and your approaches fail in your real life situations?

I’m curious, how many times have you had to do any of these things outside of bars and late night parties?

If I were an evil narcissist, I could easily take your list and white knight since you’ve spelled out how to win women’s trust and gratitude.

On a final note, I disagree with your statement here;

“Cat-calling is one of the worst advertisements for male sexuality there is. Those a**holes make us all look like complete tools. You get that, right? We need to cut that sh*t out.” (censorship added by me)

I actually think the worst advertisements for male sexuality comes from violent males from Playboy’s porngraphy. I also think male rapists are the worst advertisements for male sexuality. I think men who actually act violently are commit crime are far worse advertisements for male sexuality than men who say mean things.

Maybe I’ve gotten off on the wrong foot here. Maybe your affiliation with Playboy is purely circumstantial. I suggest you take your homepage off of Playboy’s website. It’s one small step in the journey of dismantling an industry which romanticizes violence against women.

Since you’ve severely undermined your altar calls for third wave feminism, here’s my guide for gentlemen:

• A gentleman does not feed an industry which exploits the greed and desperation of immature women.
• A gentleman treats women with dignity and respect.
• A gentleman does not engage in activities which would dull his better judgement.

If you, gentlemen, would like more resources and support in overcoming a pornography addiction, which may include a subscription to Playboy, visit fightthenewdrug.org.