Have you ever noticed the sexual code of silence in your own life? I’d bet most of us have.

Here’s how it works: jokes and lies about sex are perfectly OK, but when a serious sex discussion arises, it’s best to keep your mouth shut. This is a problem, though; researchers are discovering more and more information about many detrimental aspects to pornography, but if no one is willing to talk about them, what kinds of major problems could porn create?

Already we see the objectification of women in media and many other similar societal viruses taking over, yet no one seems to know what to do to get rid of them. But because of the Silence Code, it’s been rather difficult for most people to see that these problems can be linked to porn. Just 14 percent of people admit to regular porn viewing or strip club attendance, but the fact that the porn industry raises $13 billion annually says that 14 percent just can’t be an accurate statistic, and that’s just the people who are willing to pay (never mind the free sites). So, it’s safe to say that lots of Americans are porn users or viewers.

Porn is basically America’s next drug problem. How? Porn changes your brain, and a changed brain produces changed expectations for how relationships should work. Society is built upon relationships; so ultimately, porn can change our entire society.

The on-screen images and videos of pornography are not what change your brain and eventually lead to these societal problems, at least on their own —it’s what your brain does with them that’s killer. “The initial arousal of novelty will be there, but that is not much of a threat until it’s attached to the sexual experience [through masturbation]” explains Sam Black. Our brains have a rather interesting function within them called the “reward pathway,” through which they reward us for doing things that promote life, like eating or achieving a thing that we’ve worked really hard for, or in this case, sex. The brain does this by releasing feel-good chemicals, specifically dopamine, but also others like oxytocin. For the most part, these chemicals are great things, but they can be hijacked and abused. This is when porn can start to act like a drug because, just like substance abusers overload their brains with dopamine with each consecutive hit, porn addicts do the same when they masturbate to the images they see on screen. Our brains just cannot handle all that dopamine at once, so to counter it, they get rid of some of their dopamine receptors. It’s like standing next to a car as its horn blares—you’re going to cover your ears because you just can’t handle all the sound. And not only is the brain flooding itself with dopamine, dopamine’s partner, a hormone called iFosB (pronounced delta-fos-b), is constantly laying pathways behind the scenes to give the brain easier access to these actions in the future, just like when you walk on a trail in the woods more often than others, it will become easier to see and use. This is meant to encourage actions that are good for humanity, like sex for reproduction or eating for sustenance, but when hijacked, it can produce seriously adverse effects. The longer users view pornography, the more iFosB accumulates within their minds, which can eventually lead to a genetic switch being flipped. In other words, at a certain point, sexual arousal by any other means than on screen content is virtually impossible ("Don Jon," anyone?).

This torrential chemical overload creates a number of problems for porn users and is what can lead to what I said earlier about problems within society. When your mom made peach pie and it was absolutely delicious when you ate it, your brain released dopamine to teach you that that pie is something that is worth eating because it makes you feel good. But if you start overloading your brain with dopamine through masturbation to porn as often as daily (sometimes even more than that), suddenly that dopamine from the pie doesn’t quite measure up to the surge you get from your dopamine rush in porn. This is what leads porn users to try bigger and more twisted things in their viewings of pornography. Eventually, soft-core "Playboy" magazines aren’t enough.

Most porn users find themselves aroused by things that used to disgust them. As their brains wire the crazy things they see on screen to sexual arousal, their belief of what are normal sexual practices changes drastically as well. "Fight the New Drug" reports: “One study found that people exposed to significant amounts of porn thought things like sex with animals and violent sex were twice as common as those not exposed to porn thought. And when people believe a behavior is normal, they’re more likely to try it."

Now, of course not everyone that views porn will become a rapist or abuser, but it is true, however, that studies show it can change a person’s ideas and attitudes, and our behavior is heavily influenced by those things.

When our brains are changed, how we live our lives changes as well. This includes how we view relationships. In real life, each person we meet is a unique mixture of personality traits and characteristics, and it’s that mixture that we fall in love with. Porn is obviously not one-on-one human interaction, so that mixture is lost within it. What porn can do, however, is capitalize on the fact that those real people come with complications. Things like physical flaws, discomfort or displeasure, and the need to be taken care of are all virtually nonexistent. And, as an added bonus, if the actors and actresses in the video fail to satisfy the user, they can always close that window and go on to the next thumbnail. But this puts a porn user in an endless cycle—the more a user views porn, the more their real relationships don’t seem exciting enough which gives them a reason to turn back to porn. Over time, users often may lose interest in finding love altogether.

Two scientists, Tinbergen and Magnus, did a study in the 1950s in which they observed a certain species of butterfly in order to see which pattern of female wings within the species the males were most attracted to. When they found this pattern, they created cardboard replicas of the wings with bright paint and glitter, making them bigger and flashier than the real-life butterflies. Tinbergen and Magnus then inserted these cardboard wings into the enclosure with the butterflies, and interestingly enough, the males actually neglected the females and tried to mate with the cardboard wings. Pornography works the same way. Through plastic surgeons and Photoshop, the women look nothing like real life. Just like the cardboard wings, porn is chock full of lies. One would think that a 45-minute porno wouldn’t take very long to produce. One would also be surprised to find that on average, it takes about three days to film one porn video. It’s also worth noting that just because the models are smiling doesn’t mean they enjoy what they’re doing. And contrary to popular belief, it is not at all similar to real-life sex or relationships.

One reported use of pornography is to better a users’ own sex life, gearing them up for more sex and better sex at that. But the reality is that among users, it actually leads to less satisfying sex less often, and can many times lead to no sex at all. This is because of the iFosB and dopamine overloads we spoke of earlier. As users’ brains wire what they see to arousal, real sex becomes less interesting and eventually dies off altogether.

Probably the scariest and most impactful result of habitual porn use is erectile dysfunction, or ED. In the past, ED was a condition that only aging men developed. After decades of sex with their partners, their bodies wore out, and eventually, erections became a difficult thing to do naturally. Menopause worked the same way for women. ED was unheard of in men under 35, and from then until 40 it was very rare. But now, we’re seeing ED in guys as young as 19.

A final relational issue that arises from porn use is increased loneliness and psychological problems. Pornographers have, perhaps unknowingly, created the perfect business cycle. Most users start out with free porn, but as their brain wires their arousal to on-screen content and their desires escalate and get stronger, paid porn is eventually used. Most of these users are coming to porn to escape anxiety, depression, loneliness and other undesirable emotional states, but their porn use actually fuels them, instead of providing an escape. So the users are taking part in a cash cow that is an endless loop—their constant attempt to escape these states leading them only to fuel them more strongly. As a result, both male and female users are many times accompanied by struggles with anxiety, body-image issues, poor self-image, relationship problems, insecurity, and depression.

Webster defines the word "society" as “people in general thought of as living together in organized communities with shared laws, traditions, and values.” That sharing of laws, traditions, and values demands relationship. As we saw above, porn doesn’t just affect romantic relationships, but every kind of relationship one can be a part of. This can be absolutely detrimental in itself, not to mention what the practices of porn can do to society.

“With some editing and off-screen coercion, pornographers can make it look like what’s happening on screen is being enjoyed. But the uncut version is a different story. Porn actors are constantly threatened and emotionally and verbally abused by agents and directors to force them into doing things they don’t want to,”—(fightthenewdrug.org). A major reason that many users justify their viewing of porn is that it is legitimate entertainment made by people who actually want to be there. The United States federal government even protects pornography under the first amendment, largely for this reason. However, fightthenewdrug.org reports, “What they don’t say is that some of those people look like they’re having a good time because they have a gun pointed at their head. And if they stop smiling, it will go off.”

Of course, human trafficking is underground due to illegality, so stats are hard to find. But some things that have been discovered are rather disturbing. In one Miami case in 2011, two men were found guilty of enticing women into a human trafficking trap by offering them modeling roles, only to drug, kidnap, and rape them, videotape the violence, then sell it to porn stores nationwide. And this went on for five years! These kinds of stories aren’t the norm yet but they’re getting there fast. What’s more common, however, are people who voluntarily enter the adult film industry only to find that their bosses and directors abuse them and make their lives miserable, eliminating the possibility of escape with fear manipulation and physical abuse. In essence, support of the porn industry by viewing the videos they produce is also supporting trafficking and abuse of these men and women that we never see, but definitely have a hand in.

Porn itself isn’t new. Did you know that? Cavemen made drawings on their walls of naked people and of sexual acts, and the ancient Greeks featured nudity in their many artworks throughout their history. But where did this modern acceleration of porn come from? Just like the rapid advance of most other sectors of society, porn was escalated over a matter of a few years because of capitalism. Don’t get me wrong, capitalism in and of itself is a great thing, but, abused, it can produce very adverse effects.

In 1948, Dr. Alfred Kinsey wrote a book on sexuality. This was groundbreaking because up until this point, not many people wanted to talk openly about sexuality, and those that did were, for the most part, shunned by American society. But in 1948, things were changing.

Hugh Heffner realized that this newfound interest in discussion on sexuality could be a major business opportunity, but he had to make sex and porn more desirable for the mainstream community. So, "Playboy" as we know it was created.

In the 1980s, the introduction of the VCR eliminated the need for porn viewers to attend porn theaters (yeah, those existed). But then the Internet changed everything. Between 1998 and 2007, porn site traffic skyrocketed by 1,800 percent, and in 2004, porn sites were visited more often than Google, Yahoo!, and MSN Search combined. And since the Internet is available to everyone and regulated by no one and since adolescents use the Internet more than any other subgroup, it should be no surprise that 12 to 17-year-olds are the highest consumers of porn in America, according to Sam Black. This is a major problem. As adolescents, their brains are constantly wiring what is normal for them not only sexually but also in their everyday lives. As they grow, they are learning to expect to find what’s on screen in the real bedroom, and that’s just not going to happen.

Porn also threatens marriages, both existing and potential. More than 80 percent of young adults say that getting married is an important priority in their life plan, according to the Knot Yet Report. But what most people don’t realize is that marriages in which at least one partner is a regular porn user are plagued with less intimacy and sensitivity, as well as more anxiety, secrecy, isolation, and dysfunction in the relationship.

It isn’t hard to see how addictions to porn can lead to these problems. It’s no more than a production, and it fuels sex trafficking, and these things that users are wiring their brains too are on track for being irreversible. Then, we’re stuck with a population literally hardwired to think these unrealistic things are to be expected (which is why we’re already seeing less healthy relationships).

In short, porn changes your brain, your brain governs your relationships, and society is built upon relationships. Do you want to fix the media? Do you want to get rid of this objectification of women? They’re just giving the population what it’s wired itself to desire. To change the media, we must first change ourselves.

All non-cited statistics and factual claims are sourced from Fight The New Drug.