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Porcelain Dolls

We want perfection, but maybe our flaws are what give us life.

Hannah Neidermyer

Jan 02, 2017

National Writers Society

491

msecnd.net

A doll's best feature?

her porcelain skin.

No scars from climbing

just a little too high and

hitting your head on the way down

No marks from the red

that even covergirl

can't hide.

Even color- flawless work.

Marble statues are the same-

smooth to the touch

never dry

or oily

or wrinkly

Cool and put together

in a way we never are.

If only we could be like them.

If only we could achieve perfection.

If only we could be set on a shelf

to be admired by all.

If only we could be

just like them-

lifeless.

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Because have you ever had to endure grilling your foot on a George Foreman?

1. When he just wanted bacon from his George Foreman grill

2. When he had money (and Jan) issues

3. When he got upstaged at Phyllis' wedding

4. When he unintentionally saved Meredith from rabies

5. When he wore a "bisexual" suit

6. When he had to apologize to Jesus

7. When his GPS drove him into a lake

8. When he had to deal with Ryan as his boss

9. When he couldn't fulfill his most generous empty promise

10. When this happened

11. When he struggled with a X-Mas break up

12. When he had to defend his generosity

13. When he threw a classy Christmas party for Holly but she had a boyfriend

14. When he had to stand up to peer pressure

15. When Toby was "Toby-ish"

This isn't just for the single Pringles out there either, folks

Run Around Clanging Pots and Pans in Everyone's Face

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Smash Things Against a Wall

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Throw a Coffee Table Out a Window

Sing "Auld Lang Syne" at the Top of Your Lungs

Do Some Squats

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Time to be merry and bright.

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"All I Want for Christmas Is You" by Mariah Carey

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"The Christmas Song" by Josh Groban

"White Christmas" by Idina Menzel

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"Les cloches du hameau" by Celine Dion

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