As Election Day approaches I find myself becoming more and more disheartened at the quality of political discussion around me. I don’t mean the fact that it seems generally unintelligent, under-researched, and startlingly superficial. Those are entirely other issues. No, I mean that it is almost entirely devoid of even the smallest amount of basic respect that we should afford to one another.

What’s more is that it’s not even confined to one side of the political spectrum. In the span of about five hours on Monday I saw both a video by Blaze personality Tomi Lahren, which referred to Hillary Clinton supporters as “well-meaning morons” and an Odyssey article titled Why Millennials Hate Hillary Clinton which described Clinton supporters as “fake leftists” and “sheep.” This is exactly what is wrong with American politics today. It’s not enough to disagree with other people anymore; we have to actively hate them.

Whether it is a discussion about an issue of true significance like the national debt or simply a comment thread about Taylor Swift’s new beef with person XYZ, the amount of mudslinging that occurs is simply unconscionable. Things that we would never dare (and should never dare) to say in person are the norm on the internet, and it is fairly clear that this has infected the way that we view others who disagree with us. This is what The Atlantic columnist Jon Lovett called “The Culture of Shut Up.” Rather than actually attempting to discuss issues in a rational and essentially human way, our conversation quickly deteriorates into ad hominem assaults on the personal character of our opposition.

We view disagreement as a sign of moral forfeiture, an indication that the person to whom we are speaking is not worthy of our respect. This is so incredibly problematic I don’t even really know where to begin. Government is about getting along with the opposition party, it’s about forming relationships, and above all, it’s about compromise. These things are practically impossible to achieve when disagreement is met with hatred rather than discussion. Government cannot just be about hurling insults at the other party. You cannot get anything done in that atmosphere. Moreover, you can’t solve any problems. This, shockingly, tends to contribute to further resentment and more hatred. It’s a self-reinforcing mechanism.

Look, I get it. Whatever your political philosophy, it’s hard to look at some people’s past votes, current positions, policy proposals, and not come away feeling resentful. It’s hard to watch Tomi Lahren’s videos and not be pissed at the things that she says. It’s hard to listen to someone call you a murderer for supporting abortion rights. It’s even harder to let go of that resentment and move on. But it’s necessary if you want to actually get anything done, change any minds, or have any sort of productive discussion.

Do I disagree vehemently with pro-life activists? With the NRA? With supporters of Trump’s wall? Hell yeah I do. And hell yeah I’m willing to stand up and argue against them. But do I hate them? Do I come into a discussion hurling expletives? Do I refuse to show them respect from the outset? No. It hardly does me any good to call them women hating, gun loving, xenophobic idiots—even if that’s how I feel privately. That kind of language doesn’t help anyone.

So as hard as it is to keep your cool in the face of disagreement, insults, and personal attacks, be the bigger person. If enough of us decide to try burying the hatchet, we might eventually get there.