I am happy. Well, for the most part. I mean, I have so much to be happy for and about. I don't know why I wouldn't be happy.
It's just...well sometimes, I'm upset for no reason, and there is so much to think about.
I have to live in the now, and I love the present. I enjoy my life, and I am happy.
It's just, what if I'm not?
I have so many emotions inside me, always playing tug of war.
Of course, I want to be happy, and I feel like I should and need to be. What if I don't, though?
Is it terrible if I don't wake up with a smile?
Is it wrong if my mind is not engulfed in joy every second of the day?
Why do I have to choose an emotion?
Why is it my job to be what everyone wants me to be?
Why can't I be who I want?
Why can't I be strong, but also sensitive sometimes?
Why can't I be happy, but cry when I need to?
Why do I always have to wear a smile; because sometimes, I am just not in the mood to be happy?
Why am I expected to wear the crown of grace, and never fall?
I am a clumsy mess of beauty, brains and brawn; why am I only allowed to be one shade of emotion?
I have so much to offer the world, and won't hide it all behind a smile, pretending to be the emotions society asks me to have.
It's so crazy because some things I do are considered the epitome of womanhood. Whereas, other times, people think I'm too manly.
It's hard to win, honestly.
That's not the point though.
Sometimes, I'm considered "crazy," and I guess that's fine.
It's ok that when I shed emotions outside the realm of happiness, I am insane.
It's ok.
I get that sometimes it's a lot to handle.
I mean, imagine being trapped inside your own mind.
