Have you ever felt like no matter what you do, you'll never have a say in life? I think of people like me as boats that are only supposed to follow the waves society creates, but should never turn on their own motors. The difference between a dream and life is that only one can truly bring happiness. But then again...what is happiness?

Gasp! Eyes shoot open.

The darkness that was once above me, falls to my shoulder.

Tiptoe, tiptoe, tiptoe. It isn't morning yet.

But for me, there is no morning and there is no night.

Time is all I have.

Look here, look there,

Go here, go there,

Through the mess, I try to salvage my accomplishments from the day before.

I think to myself

What is rest? What is sleep?

There is no sleep.

Only accidental naps.

Finally, I listen by choice.

Not to my teachers, not to my friends

Not to my family.

But to random people who I’ll never see

Scream! Scream! Scream!

Smile. Smile. Smile.

What is a request?

I only know commands.

What is respect?

What is consideration?

I only know greed.

What is a voice?

I only know submission.

Give advice, take advice.

There is no charity work.

Intention cannot be happiness

Intention can only be ambition

I think I give advice

Others think I give trash

So they throw it away.

Whine! Whine! Whine!

Jeez...I wish I could drink some wine

To drown the sorrows which are clearly not mine

But are trying to be

Work! Work! Work!

What is play?

Oh, you mean the book I'm reading for AP Lang?

Yes, the paper’s due at midnight.

What is trying?

I only know success and failure.

What is flaw?

I only know perfection.

There is youth for only some.

The rest have pain.

But what is youth?

I only know stress.

“Hey, can you help me? I made a mistake”

"Ya sure, what's your problem?"

“Hey, can you help me? I made a mistake”

"That seems like a "you" problem."

People never learn; they only leech.

Circle. Circle. Circle.

People lie.

People can’t make up their minds.

I’ll add hypocrisy to my list.

Raindrop. Raindrop. Raindrop.

Oh wait, those aren't raindrops.

Those are tears.

Not mine.

I've come to expect disappointment,

But others are still learning.

What is dependency?

I only know myself.

Many consider this an endless cycle.

I don't.

When society learns and improves,

The cycle will end

And I'll have a better dictionary.