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Poetry on Odyssey: Mind Games

I was better off before I met you.

Ayanna Armstrong

May 15, 2018

Pace University

251

via unplash

Why do you do that?

Why do you strum me along like I’m some string on a violin?

Why do you act like there isn’t a possibility we couldn’t be more than friends?

What happened to the late nights we spent together? The soft laughter and talking about the near future. You made it seem like it would be you and I against the world. Maybe I’m more upset at the fact that I considered the hope of us being together for a split second than you leaving me in the dark.

How can you wake up one day, and pretend like nothing happened the night before? How can you play someone who had your best interests at heart? That’s how you diminish a good woman. You can go to hell and back for someone and that individual could still reply, “I didn’t ask you to.”

These mind games are slowly interfering with my sanity. You don’t destroy the people you love.

Having too big a heart can be a weakness. When you have a big heart, you tend to look for an angel deep inside the demon. The darkness will eventually consume you, making their pain your pain.

Another thing.

Why should I bend over backwards for someone who’s not even willing to meet me halfway? This act gets old after a while.

Sometimes we create our own heartbreak. We love too hard. We expect too much which often leads to disappointment.

The empty promises.

The unnecessary lies.

I’m tired. I’m tired of it all. I’m tired of putting in more than I receive. I’m tired of not getting what I deserve. I deserve to be treated like an actual human being. It seems like most of the people I encounter, are getting over someone through me or are only seeking something temporary and inconsequential, knowing somehow I’d be the one to supply it.

There’s nothing in this world that I want more is someone to love me with my flaws and all. To break down all the barriers that I have set up. There’s always going to be roadblocks but I need someone who is willing to go through them with me instead of fleeing the other way. I need someone who is willing to do everything a real man is supposed to do.

Mind games.

First, it hurts, but then you get used to it.

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.

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Poetry on Odyssey: Mind Games

I was better off before I met you.

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Or at least try to do.

1. I will wake up (sorta) on time for class.

2. I will look decent for class.

3. I will go to the gym more.

4. I will go to the library and study more.

5. I will meet new people.

For those long nights that turn into mornings when the struggle is real.

1. Walk in motivated and ready to rock

2. Disappointed you let it get this bad

3. Distracted: When a 10-Minute Break Becomes an Hour

4. When the Yearning for Sleep Sneaks Up

5. In the words of Lorelai Gilmore "Coffee, Coffee, Coffee"

Oh, so done.

You need sleep, but also have 13 things due in the span of 4 days.

1. When it's December 1 and you have seven things due, three exams, and haven't slept in three days.

2. So you stress.

3. And cry.

4. Then call your mom to cry some more.

5. After the pep talk, you feel determined to get everything done.

6. But, now you're tired.

7. And really hungry.

8. Suddenly, it's 2 a.m. and you have only written three sentences and your paper is due in the morning.

9. You've made it to Friday... somehow.

10. Then Sunday hits and you find yourself back at the Lib.

11. So you cry some more.

12. But, you fight through the tears to get everything done because you're determined.

13. In the end, you feel on top of the world because you made it through the last week of class alive.

14. But, now it's finals week so good luck.

The ultimate list and gif guide to a college student's brain during finals.

What does the world outside the library look like?

Can I read this entire book tonight?

I should have gone to class more often.

Did the professor even teach this?

What is the lowest grade I can get on this exam and still pass the class?

Should I just drop out of school now?

Finals are ruining Christmas.

Just wrote three sentences so time for a break.

Need. More. Coffee.

What is sleep?

I'm too stupid for college.

Brain hurts.

Time for a Facebook Break.

I think I'm dying.

When will I ever need this information in the real world?

I can't read any of my notes.

I need my mom.

When was the last time I showered?

I need study snacks.

The struggle is so real right now.

"I want to thank Google, Wikipedia, and whoever else invented copy and paste. Thank you."

1. I'm so tired. I need a nap. Maybe I can sleep with my eyes open in class? Or pretend I'm not napping?

2. We have a test today? Why didn't anyone tell me? Did I know this?!

3. Can I quit school yet? It's only October, and I need a vacation.

4. The struggle is so real.

5. I'm so broke. SOS.

6. Stressed? Eat everything you own in your pantry and stuff your face with all your feelings.

7. "Did we have anything due in class today? Homework? Quiz? Test?" "Not that I know of..."

8. I need food. Where is the closest place to get food? I need it stat.

9. This is the longest day of my life. I need a drink, or two, or three.

10. Sleep? What is sleep? What a foreign concept.

11. When someone suggests going and studying in the library, let alone studying in general.

12. When the cafeteria or student center is packed and you can't find a seat anywhere so you literally have to sit in an abandoned corner.

13. When you see someone you used to hook up with. They see you, and approach you; so you have to pretend like everything is normal.

14. When you get your exam and realize you didn't study as much as you should have.

15. When you crush it on an exam or paper that you totally bullshitted.

16. I need a grande, extra strong coffee to get me through today.

17. When the professor announces you have a project due the following week with no instruction on what it's on and how to do it.

18. Is it Friday yet? Where's the weekend when you need it most?

19. It's freezing in here. I feel like I'm sitting in an igloo. I should have brought a jacket or worn long pants.

20. Did I remember my book? Damn, I forgot the book, and of course I need it for that quiz in class.

21. I would pay a million dollars to not go to class today; or actually never again.

22. I need a hoverboard to ride to class. Maybe then I wouldn't be running 15 minutes late to class every day.

23. Oh she/he's cute! I wonder if they're single. Who are they texting? They're BF/GF? I wonder if they think I'm cute. Could they be a potential new bae?

24. Why is there never any parking? I pay thousands of dollars a year for one parking spot to be open.

25. When it feels like you've been in class for an hour and you look at your phone and it has only been five minutes (I'm crying on the inside).

26. When the professor asks if there are any more questions at the end of class and someone raises their hand.

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