With the stress of everything going on in life I decided to take a step back and reflect on when I feel so pressured by certain things, and with that why some of those more then others. Upon this reflection, I realized that I have continued to feel the weight of some of these expectations for my entire life, so I wanted to decompress about what I felt about this mental burden.

Expectations

I had always been the oldest friend,

but then I met you.

You were the me I always had to be,

a foreign concept

Meeting yourself, yet sometimes it felt

I knew you better than me.

I could never thrive in the same way

yet all I could hear was praise you received;

and on I looked for you

broken.

Like water on fire

we shouldn't have been entangled

our existence reliant on each others yet never aligning

form broken

tears stolen

From the sidelines you watch

fire in your eyes

as I try to hold up the weight of all you left for me.

I am drowning

Fearful

No escape in sight

yet I hear the others cheer on

Loud

And resilient

They believe that I

My frail self

Can become more

than your shadow.

I seen myself

through an altered lens

and take the framework

from my face.

I am me,

And you are a stubborn grain of sand

Uncomfortable

but present

I am standing in the sunlight

I am not in the shadows of your lurching figure

I am more than the expectations

that have weighed me down

since birth

I am alive,

and I will keep on living.