It's clear now that you never cared, that I was always replaceable. It was hard to accept, but what was even harder was trying to keep you accountable for the bad when all I saw in you was good.
ANTI-FRAGILE
I know you miss me.
Miss my genuine Ora, the beauty I hold within. Long talks, about our different walks of life. You allowed me to walk out of the unhappy place I was in.
The same for you always had you. Almost weird to hear you refer to me by my real name, so many nicknames that have now faded. We awkwardly stare, all because we won't dare to care, to make a difference and take the first breath of fresh air.
I see that you miss me and I miss you too. Both afraid to make it alright we instead let it diminish and all the memories float away. So many changes it was hard to keep up, like a death, there were phases that I wasn't prepared for.
I have seen the change and I knew our end was near and ready to stay. Maybe that's what hurt so much, unlike a quick band-aid this took too much time. Agonizing long patience of trying to get to the final stage.
Please tell me that it's all over and that there will be no more pain. I look into your eyes and I see the same reflection in my own. Both of our eyes telling how we feel but our lips won't make a move. Too scared to admit what's really going on.
It's not hard to notice the amount of love shared between me and you, best friends till the end too bad neither one of us will make the move to mend. Like a willow tree, we were supposed to bend back but instead, we snapped. Shared a friendship so real I would never want to steal your happiness.
This seems to happen in cycles for me. I become inseparable and build something so strong with a person, unable to identify toxic traits and the reality of it all. All of a sudden it all changes, once best friends are now strangers.
I'll take your secrets to the grave as I hope you feel the same. I grasp on to good times but the bad ones seem to haunt me more and more each day. Like water and oil, we seem to not mix anymore but once upon a time we were inseparable.
I have seen my value but I wish you did too. Realizing I was never your friend really helped put things to an end. Like you said there was never one, to begin with, so I took that and ran with it. That was enough knowing you mean that.
Maybe we were just a phase or a chapter, maybe our friendship was true. It's too bad that now I'll never know. I won't cap or act wack, I tell it like how it is but just always know it's nothing but love and happiness I wish your way.
Maybe one day things will change but for now, things will stay. I hope for better days.
