What terrifies me the most

is how a single thoughtless action from you

can push me to the depths of disappointment

although it's still a feeling

which I'm very much familiar with,

thanks to you.

What terrifies me the most

is knowing that you're

the master of moving goal posts

so everything I do is never enough

yet I would still make an effort,

just to make you love me a little more.

What terrifies me the most,

is my need for constant validation from you

despite knowing that no answer

is at least better than the one

you give me,

but that's how you always are.

What terrifies me the most,

is thinking about the many possible ways,

you would get even with me,

when I'm not fulfilling expectations

or doing something which displeases you

in the slightest.

Unstable, frightening, unpredictable,

always on the verge of slipping away,

never unconditional.

A point-based reward system,

that's what your love feels like

and it's damaging.

And we're just like

chess pieces to you,

only deserving your love

when you feel like it, but

more than ready

to be sacrificed anytime.