Millions of thoughts running through my head

Like an endless marathon-

what did I do to deserve this?

why am I constantly living in fear of those around me

why do I live to please others

why do I care what people say

the truth is I hate myself

the feeling I have when I wake up in the morning is indescribable

when I get ready I don't turn on the lights

I sit in darkness

Like The darkness in my brain

Overshadows all the happy thoughts I used to have

They say im the girl with the biggest smile

But if you ask me, im the girl with the most pain

The heartbreaks, the constant betrayal, the painful goodbyes

It is a never ending battle

a constant rollercoaster

Life has its ups and downs

I am being pushed into a dark hole

A constant yet excrutiating

Sadness fills my eyes, but I must not show emotion

For the society I live in beckons for me to be perfect

Telling me a certain way to act

And im tired of trying to please everyone

And as the tears stream down my face like a waterfall

I must hide my true emotion

For it is my greatest weakness

with every breath i take

i feel death trying to escape

but he is stuck

clinging onto my unhappiness

seeing and feeling my inner thoughts

he is afraid

i am afraid.