If you are warm blooded, pale, and made for winter like me, you know what true suffering is: those days of 85% humidity, glaring sun, and worst of all.. mosquitoes. For those of you ready for fall, here is a short, satirical poem dedicated to the end of the absolute and undeniably worst part of the year: summer. Enjoy!
Goodbye, summer and your hot stickiness
annual eternal damnation
the outdoor's humid ickiness.
Good riddance, summer; you are not so fun in the sun
because I go from pale to firetruck red
while others go from white bread to a toasted bun.
So long, summer and your seasonal lifelessness
all the best holidays are coming in the fall
I am ready for pumpkin spice delightfulness.
Adios verano and your diablo sauce like spice
true amigos do not cause me a torrent of sweat
Winter is coming, I am ready for ice.
Bring in the first frost, cold crispy air
that nips at you as you open up your door.
Bring in forests of orange, red, and yellow
subtly reminding me of what once was
the hellish flames of the season of summer.
From beach balls to pumpkins,
Hot, deathly days to cool, nippy nights
Dante's Inferno to The Day of the Dead.
Hello autumn, darkness my old friend
Spooky October nights taking the place of humid, buggy July evenings
thankfully those times have came to an end.
Welcome autumn, flaming leaves of a tree
cold breathe visible with the scent of pumpkin
filling the air, giving me glee.
Come on autumn and your crisp, cool air
allowing us to finally sport our flannels
as we venture to bonfires and the fair.
