When I go to describe myself to people, "plus sized" is not the first term I go to. Perfectionist, selectively social, bibliophile (person who loves books), or even fiery will tell you more about me than the term "plus sized" ever will. And I had never considered myself to fall under that size category until college. It was then that I really started to notice how much of a difference the fashion industry puts on "women" and "plus sized" categories.
I've never been as self-conscious about my looks as I have been in college. Since graduating high school, I've gone up a couple of sizes in my clothes. While a couple of sizes doesn't seem like a huge deal, it's worse when you go break the barrier of being able to shop in the "normal" women's section to now having to shop in the larger ladies area. To be honest, I didn't think about it much at first, but lately, I've really been noticing how much the two areas are like completely different worlds. Most clothing stores like to trick you into thinking its the same by having the same styles of clothes in the two sections, but if it really was the same types of clothing, why not put it in the same area as the others? Why does "plus sized" clothing have to have its own area, like it's infected with some sort of disease?
I look at myself now compared to pictures from high school and I can clearly see the difference. I know that now, at size 14, I am considered to be "plus size". No matter how much I want to debate that a size 14 is not "plus size" but a very normal size for any grown woman, the fashion industry won't hear it. Anyone size 8 and up, is considered to be "plus sized". But what I've come to learn is that the fashion world isn't made for women like me. As much as I would like to fit in a cute romper worn by the beautiful model on a clothing store's website, I just can't unless it's made in a special "plus size".
But I don't say any of this as a diss to smaller girls. If you are in the "normal" ranges and completely happy with yourself, then I am so ecstatic for you, truly. It is a privilege denied to many to love themselves in a society that is constantly telling us that how we are is not beautiful enough. That we should be embarrassed for wearing double-digit jeans or feel ashamed for ordering an XL t-shirt. It is one of the things many of us just desire to have-- a sense of being comfortable.
What I'd like more than anything, is just a normal "women's" section at all of my favorite places to shop; an area from sizes extra small to triple-x, or in whatever sizes the clothes come. That's ideal to me. Is this really how we want to bring up our daughters? Because at the rate we're going, with the "plus size" barrier getting lower and lower every year, they'll believe they're "plus size" at a size 6 soon.
Slowly but surely, I am breaking down the wall I've built about being the size I am. I am starting to accept myself as a "plus size" and learning that honestly, none of it matters. It doesn't matter if you're a size 00 or a 2X, as long as you're happy and accepting of yourself.
