I am the third of four children, the third of four daughters. This makes me one of two middle children in my family, my sister Jocelyn being the other. Of course, most people know what middle child syndrome is: the feeling that many middle children feel of being left out or forgotten. They're not the oldest; they don't get the privileges and responsibilities associated with being older. They're not the baby; they don't get coddled or given special attention.
I was two and a half when my little sister Caroline was born and I became a middle child.
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In this picture from the day Caroline was born, you can see me with my back to the camera, pouting and drinking apple juice. According to my parents, my uncle explained my behavior by saying I was just mad I "wasn't the big cheese anymore". Basically, within a few minutes of becoming a middle child, I was feeling the effects of middle child syndrome.
And yet, despite me identifying as a middle child who suffered from middle child syndrome, I'm here to tell you that I don't think middle child syndrome is all that bad. I am the third of four children, one of two middle children, and I don't think it's really a cause for alarm or a reason for anyone to avoid having more than two children (and avoid making any more middle children). I'm a middle child and I'm here to tell you that being a middle child is good.
First of all, I learned how to share (both the spotlight and all of my things). Though I kind of hated it as a toddler, it was good to learn how to not be the center of attention all the time. And believe me, it's not like I was forced to live in a closet, ignored and shunted aside in favor of Lea, the eldest or Caroline, the baby. No, Jocelyn and I were still loved and still cared for. We learned that the world does not revolve around us; sometimes, Lea has the spotlight. Other times, it's all about Jocelyn. Sometimes Caroline is the center of attention. Sometimes it's me, and all the rest of the times it's about my parents or all of us combined or something else altogether. I got a crash course in this lesson sixteen years ago when Caroline was born, but I think everyone should keep this in mind throughout their lives.
For another thing: I never had the pressure of being the first. Lea went to high school first. She made all the scary forays into adulthood: getting a job, going to high school, driving, going to college, and now getting married and buying a house. I never had to be the first to do something. I knew what to expect before I went into a situation. And sure, it was hard to be the second (or the third). I had a few teachers who knew me as "Jocelyn's little sister" and while it may have been a little hard to start school the year after Jocelyn had graduated as valedictorian but I managed to forge my own path because I knew what to expect along the way.
But I think my favorite part of being a middle child is not being the only middle child. Since there are four children in my family, my sister Jocelyn also shares the title of "middle child". Though we are different people with different experiences, we can always share this thing (and Harry Potter). Our other siblings would commandeer the spotlight for one reason or another and we could simply sit back, watch and entertain ourselves by making our own games or toys (she cleverly named them "Jocelyn-ventions"). If you're going to be a middle child, you may as well have a partner in crime to share the experience with.
So really, being a middle child isn't all that bad. In fact, we're powerful and successful. Roughly 52% of American presidents have been middle children. According to a University of Redlands psychology professor and author of The Secret Power of Middle Children, Catherine Salmon declares that middle children tend to be more empathetic and better problem solvers.
So fear not, future middle children: you will survive and you will thrive even as a middle child.
