A common complaint among women is that we can never look the way that society wants us to. Most people dismiss this notion without realizing how it completely affects our lives.

“The average height and weight of women in the United States is 5 ft. 4 in. and 164 lbs. The average height and weight of fashion models is 5 ft. 9 in. and 110 lbs.” (Wolf, 1992; National Center of Health Statistics, 2004) We are forever searching for an unattainable, and quite frankly unhealthy, ideal. Meanwhile, the supermarket shelves are full of high-calorie foods and the media is suggesting the next new diet pill. Eat our sugary products, but stay slim or else we’ll look down on you.

Who can keep up with the latest fashion trends? Pluck your eyebrows, they need to be on fleek. Full lips and thick hips, ladies. What the hell is “fleek” and why do I have to be on it? Men don’t care about our d*mn war paint. If blue eye shadow makes you feel like a queen, wear it. If not wearing any make-up at all suits you best, do that. Stop shaming each other for not doing our makeup the way that everyone else does. You know what gives me some Emperor Kuzco level confidence? Wearing red lipstick. I don’t care if you don’t want that in your daily repertoire, but don’t shame me for rocking red lips daily.

“Women have been socialized to regard their self-worth as closely tied to their physical appearance.” That’s absolutely ridiculous to me. It doesn’t only damage our sense of self-worth, but can carry over into school and the workplace. I can’t speak to the male perspective, but I have personally noticed the societally accepted “beautiful” girls get the extra help from a professor over others, or get leniency after missing an assignment. I have also noticed the impact not wearing makeup can have on my income as a waitress. Whenever I don’t wear make-up I make significantly less in tips than I do the days that I wear a full face.

I’m sure that this carries over into other professions too, perhaps not monetarily, but in other ways. If you don’t put on make-up, a woman is seen as lazy. This results in being held in a lesser regard than others. We have to look good to be considered competent. This needs to stop, and it can only stop with us.

Maybe you don’t agree with how someone does their make-up. Maybe you wear it differently, or you like the current fashion trends. I personally don’t care how you look. I will base my opinion on you 100 percent on your character, actions, and personality. So wear what you want, don’t wear what you want. Stop tearing each other down due to a difference in style and remember that you wouldn’t like it if someone judged you on the clothes you like to wear or the makeup you put on your face. Please, stop telling me how to look.