Don't compare your progress with that of others. We all need our own time to travel our own distance.- Jerry Corstens
If you’ve fallen under the trap of self-doubt and uncertainty, this one is for you. You are far more capable than what you allow your mind to believe. Your successes should not be pitted against those of others.
For those frantically searching for a definitive solution to stop the constant self put-downs or if you’re searching for reassurance that others too fall under the same crippling fear of failure that you do. First of all, you're not alone. Being nestled right at the middle point of childhood and adulthood in a place far away from familiar support systems is a challenge. We feel the need to uphold the expectations of family, professors, peers and ourselves. And in those moments where we fail to uphold those standards, those moments of vulnerability harbor a space where we begin to compare ourselves. The perception of our life is distorted through the comparison of other's lives. This looking glass we peer through diminishes our own qualities to nothing in the face of other's glorified success.
In the virtual age, we scroll through our timelines and lust after humblebrag posts of post-graduation success, weddings, or dream internships. We start feeding into the saga of other's lives as silent voyeurs. We crave the happiness, attractiveness and intelligence they elicit through the dazzling construction of their transparent online self. When uncertainty hits, self-doubt ensues and the cycle of negativity begins to take its course. You start to think: What am I doing wrong? or worse, I'm not worthy. The moment we compose the value of our lives to the comparison of others' lives, we lose sight of the potential that lies deep beneath our layer of insecurity. One roadblock is enough to deter us from taking the leap of faith, a leap that brings us one step closer to achieving our personal goals.
Self-deprecation and comparison are not ways to build yourself up, they slowly tear your down from the outside in. One failure or ten failures should not deter you from continuing to work hard to achieve your personal goals or dreams. The upside of failure is the insight you gain from being told no. Seeing every obstacle as an opportunity to shift strings and transform your weaknesses into strengths starts when you begin to focus inward. Self-doubt and uncertainty are universally relevant, no one has it completely together. Human beings are vulnerable, and fall victim to their own afflictions, but some hide it better than others. You are here. You didn't make it here because you simply gave up, or because it was "too hard." You went beyond what you thought your mind and body was capable of in light of adversity.
I can guarantee that the person you compare yourself to the most is in a struggle just like you. You can appreciate other's successes without degrading our own. Look to people for inspiration, not degradation. Although insecurity should be addressed inwardly, there is no harm in asking for support outwardly. Surround yourself with inspirational people who see the value and promise in your future, even when you sometimes don't see it yourself.
