To the person I am calling,

My name is Dallas Honeycutt and I need to have a talk with you. Now, before I get too far into this, I understand that rarely does any good conversation start out this way but once we talk I think we can figure out a way to make this current situation work out for us both. Anyway, I suppose I should begin by letting you know that I recently began working as a telemarketer at a company that sells magazine renewals. We sell all kinds of magazines too, everything from Mother Earth News and Sunset magazine to the Limbaugh Letter and Guns and Ammo. Armed with the nugget of information of what I do, I would like to ask you for a couple of favors that will allow us to both get through our phone call together.

The first favor I have to ask you is to please understand that my call to you is not actually an unsolicited call. We are calling you to renew your magazine that you already have with us. It is reasonable for us to assume that you have enjoyed the magazine that you already have with us and would like to keep receiving it. The purpose for my call is to simply talk to you for a moment and see if you want to renew it. Please believe me when I say that the last thing on my mind when I make these calls is to have an extended conversation. My goal is to check in with you, find out if you want the renewal, and then get out of your hair as fast as possible. With that in mind, I would like to move along to the second of my favors that I have to ask.

When I call you to find out about your renewal, please let us talk to you. My reason for asking this is not to selfishly give me the ability to make the sale. Don't get me wrong, I do want to make the sale. I get paid based on my sales, but my request is actually more for you than me. When we call you and do not get to talk to someone, our company policies require that we place you on a list to call back. You see, we have to call you until we get a response to the request. That is what our company is paid to do. So, by picking up the phone and just automatically hanging it up before we get the chance to talk, all you are accomplishing is being put onto a list to be called back in a few days. That said, it is in your best interest to spend 15 to 30 seconds on the phone so that we can come to a resolution and get you off of our list for good. Trust me, we would much rather know that we don't need to call you rather than keep calling someone our calls are upsetting. With that out of the way, I have just one more favor to ask.

When I call you, I am completely aware that I am intruding on a few moments of your day. I promise you that I am trying to get out of your hair as fast as possible. With that in mind, please don't yell at me. People in my position have to deal with dozens of rude people daily, I assure you that a bit of politeness on your part will help the call go as smoothly as possible.

So, I would like to thank you for letting me have this little conversation with you. I feel like we have come to an understanding about what I do for a living. So let's have a small chat about your magazines and talk for a couple moments. Who knows, it could end up as one of the best conversations of your day and we can help you keep getting the magazines that you enjoy reading.

Good day,

Dallas Honeycutt