All my friends know that I am extremely emphatic and that I become anxious, sad and afraid very easily and that I crave empathy and reassurance. I feel so much more able to handle life if I've had a really satisfying talk and cry about my struggles with an understanding, sweet person and if they remind me frequently that they love me and are there for me. But I also long to give empathy, not just receive it. I greatly desire to be the supporter of those I love, not just the supported. The problem is, even though I tell my friends that I have this desire, they often hold themselves back because they don't want to burden me. I've had many of my friends tell me that they don't tell me about their struggles because they know I feel things so deeply, they know that I worry a lot and that I have a hard time not being overzealous because I love, feel and react so deeply. I've had friends reluctantly tell me that sometimes they feel like my empathy and concern makes their problem harder to bear. I don't blame my friends at all for feeling this way but it makes me sad and frustrated at myself for not being more emotionally stable. It saddens me that I am hardly ever able to return the supportive kindnesses I receive from those I love, the listening ear, the shoulder to cry on. I so desperately want my friends to feel free to come to with their hardest problems, struggles, fears and hurts. I want my friends to feel sure that no matter what, I will always strive to be there for them, that I will always strive to help them carry their burdens and that I do want to know what is going on in their life, no matter how sad and bad it is. I don't want to keep having this one sided sharing in my friendships. I don't want to keep finding out about the sad, hard things that my friends are going through, from someone else, because they didn't want to burden me or didn't feel able to handle my overzealous concern, love and empathy for them. My dear friends, I know you mean well. I know you don't mean to hurt me or leave me out, and that you are often only trying to protect me from hearing things that will be hard for me. But often, I feel sadder and more heavy hearted when you don't share your struggles and pains with me, than when you do, because even when I know you are not keeping things from me because you don't trust or love me, I feel sometimes, like that is the case. I feel burdened with gratitude toward the people who have been there for me during the really hard times, because they often don't give me the chance to do them same for them in return. I want my friends to feel free to come to me with all their struggles. I want them to feel free to express, cry, vent, to me at any time and to not worry that they will hurt me. Please, if you really do trust me, if you really do feel close to me, come to me. Give me a chance to return the beautiful favor you have done for me, of being really there, of being someone to lean on. Please, give me a chance to listen, to empathize and to grow emotionally stronger so that I am able to help you carry your burdens without breaking down. I really want to try to be truly there for my friends, without suffocating them with my love and empathy and without getting bogged down. I want to grow stronger in this area, and the only way I can grow stronger is if you give me a chance to exercise this part of myself.
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1. When you see each other after a hiatus it is like no time has passed.
Regardless of what you may have gone through, nothing can change the banter and personal communication you and your friends share. Nothing feels awkward or forced because you are having too much fun catching up!
2. You plan your outings around each other's schedules.
Your friend's work schedules or class schedules are memorized like the back of your hand. They are your priority, and you will do anything you can to get them to join you on adventures when it is convenient to do so.
3. You say 'I love you' on the phone.
Yes, you may say it in real life too, but saying it after a phone call means it has become a customary for you to validate your appreciate for one other. Like a significant other or family member, you feel the desire to express your love at the end of a conversation.
4. Nothing is boring when you are together.
No matter what you do together, you always have a good time. Why? Because your friends' company is all you need. With the right people, you can make any situation memorable.
5. You share weird inside jokes no one else understands.
And you would like to keep it that way. If you are anything like my friend group, we share a strange family dynamic that has lasted as a running joke forever. No matter what it is, your inside jokes and sly smirks will keep the spirits up for ages.
6. You plan to hang out for a couple hours but end up together the entire day.
So now you just expect it and prepare for a 24-hour long get-together. Naps are often a part of the agenda.
7. The hugs say a thousand words.
Perhaps you do it a little too much, but the hugs you share are always meaningful and comforting. Gotta love those group hugs especially!
8. You go on spontaneous adventures together.
It is where your favorite memories come from. Even though you might not be able to do them as much as you would like, you are always down for a trip, big or small, with the group.
9. You consider each other family.
Because you consider each other family, you treat each other like family. Constant love, constant support, and a tremendous amount of meals spent together.
10. They make you a better person.
It is not a special friend group unless you learn from one another. You had to be selective when choosing your friends and when you did, you felt like they could teach you a thing or two. Their actions influence who you are and you could not be more thankful.
11. You can't imagine life without them.
The very thought scares you and sends your heart racing. Thankfully, the ultimate friend group is right there with you so you never have to second-guess their loyalty. Instead, you can bask in the glory that is your ultimate friend group. #squadgoals.
1. No school = no stress.
There are no essays to write, no books to read, and no deadlines to meet. The only worry in the world is keeping track of putting sunblock on.
2. Country music is more fun to listen to.
All true fans will listen to country music 365 days a year, but we all know that it's so much better in the summer when you can roll down the windows.
3. Your skin looks and feels better.
Even if you don't have the type of skin that tans, there is more color there than in the winter ... maybe. Freckles, tan lines, peeling burns and clear skin make for a happier camper. You'll forget all about the ghost version of yourself that was shedding dry skin like a snake over the winter.
4. Being barefoot 24/7 is an option.
Obviously wearing no shoes in the middle of a blizzard isn't acceptable. You know what is, though? Wearing no shoes in the summer ever because why not?
5. Ice cream is an acceptable snack.
For people like me who can't resist ice cream even on a 10 degree day, summer is a giant ice cream blessing. Not only does it taste like heaven, it's actually refreshing.
6. Minimal clothing is required.
Is there anything worse than having to put on layers in the wintertime only to sweat to death the minute you come back inside? No need for more than a tank top and shorts in the summertime.
7. Going to the beach daily isn't weird.
Now that it's hot, it's beach season. If you live near the ocean there is an excuse to drive there day or night, rain or shine. Staying there all day is an option for those who don't burn, and for those who do, you can always come back at night for a bonfire.
8. Cookouts.
Even when they lead to disaster, summertime cookouts are the best. Nothing completes a cookout more than watermelon and corn on the cob.
9. Night swimming.
Oh the thrill of jumping in freezing cold water in the middle of the night. Good thing the air becomes colder than the water, making the pool like a giant bathtub.
10. Spontaneous adventures.
Summertime gives you the freedom to wake up in the morning and decide to do something totally out of the blue that you've never done before. Hiking to a waterfall, rock climbing, going to a museum, or even road tripping are all great summer options.
Even if the heat isn't really your thing, it's undeniable to admit that life really is better in the summer. There's so much more free time, opportunity, excitement and sunshine. Only four months to go!
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