Dear Mom and Dad, please don’t ask me:

1. Please don’t ask me what I’m doing after 7pm on a Saturday night.

I’ll probably tell you I’m studying, even though it’s not true.

2. Please don’t ask me what my grades are until after the semester is officially over.

I know what my grades are, but I will pretend that I don’t, so that I don’t have to tell you.

3. Please don’t ask me if I’m seeing someone.

I don’t even know if I am. I mean, we are talking. Or, snapchatting. I’m not sure.

4. Please don’t ask me to call you, without any information about what the call will be about, in a text message.

It scares the shit out of me and I think I’m in trouble.

5. Please don’t ask me what I need $20 for.

I’m so hungry. Campus dining halls are just not good.

6. Please don’t ask me what I spent the last $20 on.

I most likely went to Chipotle.

7. Please don’t ask me if I have talked to my siblings.

I have. I am not a snitch.

8. Please don’t ask me if I’m getting enough sleep.

I’m not.

9. Please don’t ask me to help you with your computer or cell phone.

I will tell you that I don’t know and you should ask my brother/sister.

10. Please don’t ask me if my brother/sister is seeing someone.

I really don’t know. We aren’t that close.

I will tell you everything you NEED to know, but trust me, I’m okay and I love you.