You know the saying “Don’t believe everything you read on the internet”?

What about this one: “Don’t believe everything that little voice in your head tells you”?

You should know that one. I wish I would’ve lived by that saying five years ago.

Five years ago, I believed that little voice when it told me that I was undeserving of good things because I messed up on a test. When it told me that I couldn’t be like the popular girls because I was three pant sizes larger than them. When it told me that no “cool” boy would want to talk to me because I didn’t play sports or party on the weekends. When it told me that I could never be good at making friends because I was quiet; being confident meant you were a better person.

But that voice was lying to me.

How many people do you know that enjoy listening to a liar?

No one.

So it’s too bad that so many of us listen to that voice that sometimes lies in our head.

How do we win this battle against the lies that voice in our head tells us? It’s more than just telling ourselves to “think positive”. That's easier said than done.

1. Realize that being different is not bad

Nowhere in the definition of “different” is the word “bad”. Don’t confuse looking, feeling, or thinking differently than other people as being bad. Honestly think about how boring this world would be if every single person were the same. God does not make junk; He likes to be creative. You do not have to do what everyone else is doing, you do not need to look like everyone else. It took me a long time to really embrace this fact, and after I started believing it I began to tell each of my friends at some point in our relationship, “Thank you for being you”. I want them to know that someone appreciates them for being who they really are.

2. Write down a list of things you do and have done well/ things you like about yourself with help from a friend or family member

I want you to physically take a pencil or a pen and a piece of paper and write down everything you do well and like about yourself. Have another person you love and trust with you to get you thinking. I remember one night in particular in middle school when I just couldn’t see the good in myself. My mom came to my bedside when I was bawling my eyes out and gave me a little index card. She said to write the letters of the alphabet down the left-hand side. She told me I had to think of a positive word that described me that began with each letter, things that I knew to be true because of what God says about me and what I knew about me that I had been overlooking lately. Seeing those things on paper made them so real, and I began to believe those words, the truth.

3. Do not make being perfect a goal

Putting yourself in a box is the worst thing you can do. Once you make a mistake and step outside that Box of Perfection, the negative thoughts can bombard you. Get rid of the box and replace perfection with more realistic, attainable goals. Reality check: You are allowed to make mistakes! God knows you are going to make mistakes because you are human and honestly do not always know what you are doing which is O.K. Just do the best you can with what you have. You are also allowed to move past mistakes and not dwell on what happened in the past or over-analyze your faults that appear to have gotten you outside the Box of Perfection. Yes, learn from your mistakes, but take a big step forward and proceed to number four:

4. Stop wallowing and start moving

Instead of sitting in a pool of tears about how you feel not good enough, physically move away from those negative thoughts by getting out and moving! Exercise is a great stress-reliever and it can help burn away negative emotions. When I start to feel down on myself, I get on my bike and ride until I’m worn out or take a long walk in the woods. Doing something healthy for yourself is a great way to boost your self-esteem because you are investing in yourself, respecting yourself. Remember to strive for your healthiest self, not necessarily your skinniest or buffest self.

5. Don’t see yourself through other people’s eyes

Here’s the biggest problem with this idea of putting other’s thoughts of you above your own: You cannot judge exactly what another person thinks of you. It is impossible to read people's minds, unless there's some crazy technology out there that can tap into people's private thoughts that I don't know about yet (heaven forbid that ever be a thing). The bottom line is that trying to figure out what other people think of you and changing according to that knowledge should not become your religion. The funny thing is, a lot of people are too concerned with themselves to really analyze you as much as you think they do. It’s dangerous to be a people pleaser. Don’t lose who you are to other people. Say what you mean and do what you say. Be you. Do you. Don't apologize for being you.

6. Understand that your self-worth does not equal your success (or failure)

Don’t attach your self-worth to your academic performance, your popularity, your diplomas, your relationship status, your wealth, or your position in your company. Your success, or your failure, in these aspects of life should not gauge your self-esteem. Ask yourself what is really important in life and rearrange your priorities accordingly. In my own life, the most important thing is to bring glory to the One who saved my life instead of glory upon myself and so I rearrange my priorities to please Him. What you deem most important in your life may look different, but once you grasp what's really important in your life, you'll understand that your worth, your self-esteem, doesn’t ride on these things like success, money, or status. Putting things in a different perspective will start to quiet the lies that little voice in your head comes up with.

That evil little voice in my head doesn't have as tight of a grip as I thought it did five years ago, and now I see the positives in things and have my priorities in different places. It’s quite nice listening to the truth. It’s quite nice being myself.