On August 6, 2015, almost a year ago today, I found out who my first year roommate was going to be. I had elected to have a roommate randomly selected for me, which is why this moment was so eagerly anticipated. Despite being at work, I sprinted to the nearest computer to thoroughly Facebook stalk the person I would be sharing an extremely tight space with for the next year. I went through every one of her pictures, naturally taking screenshots and sending them to my friends and family as I went along. After about 15 minutes of this, I finally worked up the courage to send her a timid “Hey,” and so would begin my first conversation with Chela, a woman who is now one of my biggest inspirations and closest friends.
As a person who struggles with relinquishing control, allowing the residential office to choose my roommate was extraordinarily difficult for me but easily one of my best decisions. Many of my friends from high school had either chosen roommates they previously knew or found them on their respective class pages on Facebook. I was one of the few who decided to be randomly assigned and was terrified to say the least, but the friendship I gained from that risk is irreplaceable.
I realize I was lucky. Not everyone had the roommate experience I did. But I can guarantee every person who chose a roommate randomly gained something. Some learned to tolerate that which before they couldn’t stand. Some learned how to communicate responsibly and honestly in order to create a comfortable living environment. And the truly fortunate bunch found a partner in navigating one of the biggest transitions of their lives. Either way, that process of meeting a complete stranger and forcing yourself to at the very least make it work, is a crucial step in growing up.
We can’t always choose who we interact with. There comes a time where we all have to branch out. And the truth is, meeting new people and allowing them to be apart of your life is one of the best ways to grow and to learn about yourself. When it comes to friendships, many of us will shelter ourselves. We will only open up to a select few core friends in order to avoid getting hurt or rejected. And while that may seem safe, it is also immensely stunting.
Since August 6, 2015, Chela and I have shared more than many who have been friends for years. I have cried on her shoulder countless times. We’ve laughed until it was painful. We, both literally and metaphorically, have fallen and picked the other up. She has held my hand during doctor’s visits and vice versa. But most importantly, we trusted each other. We trusted each other with our deepest worries and regrets, with our fears and aspirations, and with every uncertainty. A year ago today I could have never pictured myself being this close with a person I’ve only known for this long, a person who was randomly assigned to be in my life. But it is because of people like her, people like our best friend Emily, who we met our first week of school, and relationships like ours is why I believe in fate. This makes me genuinely believe that if I open myself up to it, to the seven billion people on this planet, I can find some truly phenomenal friends.
