Self-esteem: confidence in one’s own worth or abilities.
How many of us struggle with self-esteem? Does your self-esteem stem from yourself or from what others see in you? Is self-esteem a social construct? How can we learn from our self-esteem?
For me, self-esteem has been a building block to a better life. When I understood my own worth, (which took time and conscious effort) I began living a more free life. Self-esteem is not one single definition. It can stem from love, acceptance, belonging, security, creativity and inner potential.
Having a foundation for self-esteem can lead to more control. It can help eliminate negative thoughts and help an individual see that what others think of them really does not matter in the long run.
Nathaniel Branden outlines in his book, " The Six Pillars of Self-Esteem," six distinct practices that can help one build a foundational self-esteem: “There is overwhelming evidence that the higher the level of self-esteem, the more likely one will be to treat others with respect, kindness, and generosity.”
1. The practice of living consciously.
When one makes a conscious effort to see and experience what is around them, they can make knowledgeable choices based on understanding. Paying more attention to your surroundings can create a more self-aware environment.
2. The practice of self-acceptance.
Branden outlines that we must disarm our shadows and become spotlights to and of our own light. Self-acceptance is easier said than done, but when achieved, can change the way you see and experience the world.
3. The practice of self-responsibility.
Instead of blaming ourselves and others, we must learn to become responsible for our own actions and choices. You are in charge of your own happiness.
4. The practice of self-assertiveness.
Do you consider yourself authentic? When you are authentic to yourself, you become more who you are meant to be. Another lens to look at this pillar through is the idea of standing up for what you believe. Being confident and assertive can go hand-in-hand without being defensive.
5. The practice of living purposefully.
What do you want from this life? What are your passions? What keeps you up at night? THIS is living for a purpose. Do not wait for your purpose to find you. It is already within you ready to be used to shine light into the world.
6. Personal integrity.
Your choices will affect everything that has happened and will happen to you. Therefore, be accountable for your choices. Also, hold your morals and values to a high standard.
Branden argues, that with these six pillars, there can be differences in the way you view your self-esteem.
“These practices are ideals to guide us. And—this can hardly be overemphasized— they do not have to be lived ‘perfectly’ 100 percent of the time in order to have a beneficent impact on our lives. Small improvements make a difference.”
