you'll find pieces of me everywhere
when you think I haven't been around in weeks
when you think you've finally gotten rid of me
you'll smell my perfume on the neck of some new lover
and when you distract yourself, you'll run your fingers through the baby hairs that frame her face
but when you look down the hair that swirls between your calloused fingers
the shade won't be right, you'll see swinging curls of my hair
the color of the sky in june right before the sun says her final goodbye
sherbet ice cream pigtails, you miss that don't you
you'll find pieces of me everywhere
when you pull back your sheets at night after a long day of dreaming about me
you'll pray to close your eyes, to not see me on the inside of your eyelids
but I'll be there
my fake eyelashes stuck to your dirty sheets
and you'll think of my red eyes, always red from something
drinking, crying or forgetting to sleep for days at a time
my tongue filling your mouth was a silent beg
to make you shut up for just once in your life
to beg you to stop speaking over me, stop acting better than me
stop asking me for forgiveness
you treated me so awful but no denying it was a treat
you'll find pieces of me everywhere
you'll search for me in the girls you bring home
the ones weak and dreary from cheap drinks they can't afford
she'll be a watered down version of the woman I used to be
the woman who let you walk all over her like a doormat in a rainstorm
you'll feel her hands and miss my nails
you'll touch her skin, I'll bet it's cold
you'll taste her mouth and realize I was the water
water on a hungover morning, water on a july afternoon after the sun ate at your pale skin
you're a fever I can't sweat out
you'll find pieces of me everywhere
when you dig into someone with hungry hands you'll miss the parts of yourself that I painted like art hanging in the city museums
the corners and creases of your body that I painted with the lightest shades of red, the most delicate shades of pink
hear my laugh between record scratches of your old favorite songs
you'll see my pink blush smudged on your pillow case
and wish someone worried for you the way I do
you'll see my smile in the next girl you trick into believing you
feel my skin on the gravestones in town
feel my lips on the edge of your glass while you drink to make yourself bearable
you'll find pieces of me everywhere
I'm not in pieces
I'm a whole girl, whole heart
whole head
we can't act like we know what love is when I thought your violent hands swinging at me was passion
you're a mess, there are pieces of you everywhere
and I can't keep picking them up
