It is the holidays. Thanksgiving just passed, and Christmas is quickly on its way. After stuffing our faces with as much turkey, ham, mashed potatoes, carrots, and so on, that we can, the table is cleared and out comes the dessert.

Most likely, there is a pie. Or two. Or more.

Someone slices you a piece. It is apple pie. America's favorite! But, 'slice' is a generous word, isn't it? More like, someone cuts you a piece and it just kinda oozes.

You pick at a lumpy, gloppy piece of apple. The dough is squishy and you wonder if it is even fully cooked. There are a million flaky crust pieces just strewn about your plate. Yummmmmm.

Someone grabs your plate, insisting that you eat your pie a-la-mode. They add a generous scoop of vanilla ice cream. Because what you needed more of was a quickly-melting liquid to add to your mushy dessert.

Why do we still pretend that pie is a good dessert? It is definitely not the best of all the choices we have out there. Have you heard of cake? Cookies? Heck, even Jello?

We have some sort of obsession with pie. It is considered "All-American." We hold pie near and dear to us. We call the ones we love "Sweetie-pie" or "cutie-pie." But we need to stop lying to ourselves-pie is not even that great.

I should not have to prove my dedication to America by forcing myself to eat a slice of pie on every holiday. So, can someone please pass the cookies?