He loves me, he loves me not... He loves me, he loves me not.

Time and time again, we see and experience women going through the debate of "he loves me, he loves me not". Romanticizing the idea of unavailability and playing "games" with someone has lead straight to this idea of leaving love up in the air to chance. When did we come to expect this from men? Why should guessing about a man's intentions come down to picking flower petals off and throwing them on the ground, leaving things up to fate to decide? At what point is enough, enough?

In general, when meeting a person, the first thing you do (nowadays) is to check their social media accounts and how they portray themselves. But what about the loopholes? You can put yourself out there as anyone you want, but at the end of the day it's about who you are in human interaction. You can hide behind a screen with your compliments and sweet talk, but how do your actions back them up? Part of the reason why it's so hard to grasp someone's true intentions is because you don't know what else they're doing behind that same screen. With so much doubt about who a person truly is, of course you would wonder about their intentions.

If you go to a restaurant, it's not uncommon to see people with their nose in their phone and not talking to the people they came with. I've done it too. How hard is it to just put your phone down for an hour and talk to the people around you? My friends and I made a rule that when we go out to eat, we make a "phone stack" where you can only look at the end of the meal. It's easy and makes for genuine, authentic conversation. There are no missing details, no questions about the conversation. So what is so different about relationships?

Sometimes, you can't control it. People just don't know what they want. Life is busy and hectic, and sometimes a relationship isn't the first priority, and that's okay. But grabbing the situation by the horns and putting your flower down is part of the battle. When are you going to put yourself and your emotions first? Even if it hurts more than anything you've felt before, isn't that better than looking back and wishing you had spent less time investing in a relationship where they couldn't even decide to give you the chance you deserve?

Love is not up to a flower to decide. You either take the chance and learn someone's intentions, or you spend an unfair amount of time questioning them and possibly your worth. Know when enough is enough. You are strong, beautiful, and courageous, and if they don't see that and are willing to put their phone down and see YOU, then you have to say "he loves me not" and keep searching.