As we get older, we start to realize that there are phases in life: the carefree childhood phase, the introduction into the world of middle school phase, the crippling anxiety of high school phase, and so on. I'm currently still in the crippling anxiety phase myself, but most of that anxiety isn't because of high school. High school is almost over, and I'm actually going to have to function as a part of society—that's where the anxiety comes into play. Some people have the luxury to go to college anywhere or to take a gap year, but I am not someone who has that option; I have to go to college right out of high school. That being said, choosing a college should be simple; I have been in school for 12 to 13 years now, and where I continue my education should be a no-brainer. It is not.

Colleges all over the country want you, or me in this case, to go to their schools, and they don't hesitate to email you information about it; they give you all this information about their school and get your hopes up. I've received emails from Maryland to Hawaii, and let me just say that I have considered going to all of them. I'm from a small town in the south, and those places sound so nice; however, I know those out-of-state fees won't be a breeze. Even with the scholarships I'll get, I will be paying student loans for years. Don't even get me started on application fees. These colleges are emailing me, and they want me to pay them just to consider me for their school. No, ma'am; my mamma didn't raise a fool and I'm not about to act like one. Two of the four schools I have applied for waived my application fee just because they want me to attend. Pay attention to those things; if a college is just suggesting you apply instead of offering to waive the fee, they probably are not that interested in you.

Stressing over college is pretty much the norm these days, but going to college does not even guarantee a job anymore; a lot of people with degrees are unemployed. I'm lucky enough that the field I'm entering, special education, does have a demand for employees because so many fields already have their supply. With that said, more and more people are deciding not to go to college and learn trades instead. Parents like to say that not going to college is irrational, but it's not necessarily a bad thing; both of my brothers learned a trade and make plenty of money. Our parents weren't in the financial position for them to go, and my brothers weren't smart enough to realize how intelligent they are. So they learned how to weld, pour concrete and work; they make enough money to retire on if they handle it correctly. Again, I'm lucky enough that I can go to college and learn more about the field of work I intend to go into.

The only problem is deciding on which college to actually attend. I'm currently stuck between two schools: a college on the other side of the country or a college that's about four hours away from home. I know which one my mom and my bank account want me to go to, but my heart is pulling me the other direction. I guess it's just one of those things you have to just sit back and wait for, and trust me when I say I'll be waiting.