Hopefully, everyone is aware of how influential language is. Positive language can turn someone's entire day around, while negative language can tear someone down in one fell swoop. However, these facts are also applicable to yourself.
It's easy to disrespect yourself. Punishing yourself is almost more natural than treating yourself with proper care. One simple and powerful method of improving wellness is to use proper language in speech, writing, and thoughts.
1. "I get to do _______."
GiphySome phrases most people are familiar with "I need to do this" or "I should do this." If you're like me, you sometimes drown in those phrases. Sometimes, you reach the point where you can't do the things you should, forcing your stress to compound.
It is a little cheesy. but you can trade out "needs" and "shoulds" with "I get to" or "I get the opportunity to." A similar tactic was used in "The Office" during Jim and Pam's counseling. Shed a positive light on things you don't want to do by viewing them as a privilege, an opportunity.
From my use of this phrase, I learned it has to be supplemented with a little more effort. Realizing why things are an opportunity or privilege is the key to maximizing this method.
For example, let's say you're assigned a 30-page article along with all the other work you have to do only a day to work on it. Rather than say, "I have to read a stupid-long article," view it as an opportunity and say "I get to read an interesting article about language and identity." It's small, it may not seem like much, but doing this consistently makes obligations less cumbersome.
2. "______ will get done."
GiphySometimes the previous point doesn't get the job, especially for things you struggle to view in a positive light. An alternate format is to view the obligations like they're already done, or the fate of the assignment is locked into place.
For myself, I make a list of what will reasonably get done on a given day. By putting certain items into the "what will get done" list, it decreases the open-ended nature of my assignments list, which arguably is the biggest stressor. Another tactic to expand this is to plot specific times to work on things, but that's another article.
3. "I deserve ______."
GiphyA lot of people suggest to say "I want [...]," but for things you want to do and can't find the time to do, it's difficult to accomplish. For example, I want to workout, but that doesn't change the fact I have other things I get or want to do instead.
Instead of "I want," say "I deserve." This unleashes the negative binding around chores and self-care duties. It's not uncommon to hear "I need to do laundry" or "I need to go grocery shopping." Simply switching it to "I deserve to do laundry" empowers these things and takes them out of the box of being burdening obligations.
This language promotes self-care down to the smallest things. And, if you're like me and feel like you need to earn your self-care, this method reminds you that you always deserve positive wellness.
4. "I'm ______, but I will ______ while I'm ______."
GiphyThis is a multi-level method, but it revolves around the idea of being honest with oneself and acknowledging their wellness. It's easier said than done. To use this method in context, let's go back to the 30-page philosophy paper.
I have a 30-page philosophy to read before class tomorrow, but I'm exhausted from the other 20 pages of literature I read for another class. Rather than procrastinate the philosophy or struggle through it, start off by saying "I'm exhausted, but I will read the first 15 pages while I'm exhausted."
This incorporates a good study method and self-care hack. Acknowledging that you're exhausted but making the active decision to do some work while exhausted will put you in a mindset that's understanding of your position. Combining this with breaking down assignments can be an easier way to tackle obligations.
Naturally, these are not quick fixes for stress and anxiety, and I'm not a counselor. I'm passing on some stepping stones to manage the stress of college.
