Working in a mall has its perks -- such as being able to shop on your breaks, having restaurants at easy access during mealtimes and small discounts at various shops. But working in retail requires a level of customer service and Broadway-quality acting that many people don't consider. The retail job itself is typically one of the easier jobs on the market. As I used to say when I worked for a clothing store, my job was to "show up, fold clothes and don't be an a**hole." You may see the solemn faces of many retail workers and assume that they hate their job, but typically, it has more to do with a frustration of saying the same thing over and over and over and over and...you get the idea.

On that note, here is a list of things not to say to your local, disgruntled mall employee that will make the social aspect of their job a little more tolerable.

1. "There's no tag on this, it must be free!"

Ha! I have only already heard that one 14 times today.

2. "Is this the real price?"

April fools! No, you get the special, hidden, secret prices we only reserve for those brave enough to ask.

3. "Can you give me an extra discount?"

Prices and promotions come from deep within the bowels of corporate. I assure you, I do not have the authority to haggle, nor is this a flea market.

4. "Can I use your bathroom?"

Let me tell you about the back room for a retail employee. It is a sanctuary. It is the one place during your day that you are alone without literal tour buses full of people tearing you in different directions. The door to the pearly gates to the back room are never to be breached and bathrooms are for employee use only.

5. "What a beautiful day it is outside!"

Please tell me more! (Inhales deeply the over-air conditioned, recirculated mall air that smells like pretzels and feet.)

6. "Could you try this on for me? You look to be about the same size as my (insert family member here)."

I'm on the clock. I'm not stripping down to model for you.

That's awfully presumptuous and I'm kind of perturbed at the detail to which you have examined my shape.

Your family member is lucky to look like this. (Fierce snaps into a cloud of glitter.)

7. "Do you work here?"

(Looks down at name tag and khaki pants.) I think so?

8. "Where is (insert store here)?"

I spend anywhere from 10 to 40 hours a week in this store, you better believe I'm not spending my days off memorizing the layout of the other 200.

And for goodness sake, if we say hello, then just go ahead and answer. We probably aren't getting paid enough to be trying to shove our product down your throat. We're just exchanging pleasantries like normal people.