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The 27 Phases Of "Shredding For The Wedding"

Eventually, I figured out that my worth will never be tied to the diets that I stick to or the work-outs that I participate in.

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The 27 Phases Of "Shredding For The Wedding"
Ny Magazine

As most of you know by now, I will be wed in less than a month! It is quite an exciting time, but there are also numerous pressures that pile up on a bride. Thankfully, I opted out of the traditional wedding with the 17 bridesmaids, elaborate centerpieces, overpriced venue and open bar. Instead, we have decided to have a destination wedding with a pretty intimate group on a sunny and very peaceful beach in California. (Although we might still have an open bar, because alcohol is kind of awesome).

A beach wedding is everything I could have ever hoped for, and it has cut the cost (and my stress) in half! However, even with a simple wedding ceremony, one underlying pressure remains. The pressure to obtain a "perfect wedding body". It is something that has haunted brides of all sizes (probably) from the beginning of time (excluding the pregnant brides, of course). They are allowed to be as large as they want, and no one can say a damn thing! I'm a little bit jealous, honestly.

The non-impregnated brides (like myself) are left with crash diets, strange detox teas, intricate work-out regimes and being "hangry" all the time. I started my engagement with a very positive outlook on dieting and working out. I was ready to kick ass and take names, and eventually be in the best shape of my life on my special day. And then life happened. Various health problems occurred, unfortunate circumstances popped up and unexpected bumps in the road all led to my ultimate derailing. I probably won't be in the best shape of my life on my special day, but that's okay, because even on my least desirable day, I still find comfort in the fact that the sweetest, most charming, God-fearing man has decided to make me his wife! And that is a beautiful truth that will never be taken away by my lack of discipline or dieting.

Here are some of my most rocky (and most rewarding) moments on this very unpredictable journey.


When he proposes during the holiday season and you're freaking out

But first things first, don't do this! Crash diets are no joke. There are a million healthy ways to lose weight, but this is not one of them.


So you choose a healthy dieting plan, and naturally you have questions


Alright, you have your diet all figured out, you're ready to do the damn thing!

2.5 seconds into your new life plan


Trying to get pumped up about your new work-out plan... false motivation is better than no motivation, right?!


After working out approximately three times and not seeing miraculous results


Trying so hard to be a productive adult and work-out before 12 noon


Forcing yourself to do cardio like


About a week into the process


Which is why dance cardio is my absolute FAVORITE!


But I would like to point out that you'll probably never look like this without plastic surgery, so don't set unrealistic goals!


And inevitably you will figure out that dieting is JUST as important as working out


You will eventually learn that most healthy foods taste like absolute garbage


And unfortunately, some meal prep may be required


Occasionally, you will luck out and find an awesome and HEALTHY pinterest recipe that actually tastes decent, and that is a very good day!


But cheat day is the greatest of them all, I look something like this


Be careful though, a cheat day can very well become a cheat life


And then you spend hours in the mirror like


And beware, "hanger" will strike and diet "hangry" is way worse than regular "hangry"


But when "hanger" strikes, my fiancé knows to always have snacks on deck


"Hanger" aside, nothing can compare to the combination of menstrual cramps, monthly cravings AND trying to balance a healthy diet


True story


But ultimately, I hope that you realize that your worth is not dependent on your size


Only you can live YOUR life


And the right man (or woman) is still going to love you and cherish you


And hopefully one day, we will live in a world where this no longer matters



My journey has been filled with many up's and down's, but I eventually figured out that my worth will never be tied to the diets that I stick to or the work-outs that I participate in. I will have a beautiful, curvacious figure on my wedding day, and it will be my own imperfect version of the "perfect wedding body". There is nothing wrong with being healthy, sticking to your plan and doing everything the right way. But on the days where you do everything wrong, don't forget that you a freaking treasure! Your weight has never and will never define you. Love yourself first, and the rest will fall into place.

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
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