I currently don't have a friend that's not on some sort of psychiatric medication. Maybe that's a part of today’s generation, or maybe that's just saying a lot of me and the people I hang around.

If you're anything like me, you’ve played the game of pharmaceutical roulette, and I'm not calling GP’s or Psychiatrists drug pushers, but in the US specifically, they are known for their need to over-diagnose, as they believe it's safer than the opposite choice. I could spend all day debating both sides of the argument of medication for the mind and whether or not over-prescription is a problem, but this isn't the point I want to get at.

For all of you out there who have played this game, you now know you’re not alone (if you didn't already). For you who have no idea what I'm talking about well, I hope this opens your eyes to the experiences of the people around you, whether they are family, friends or that random dude to sometimes makes awkward eye contact with you on the bus. I've seen this gamble taken with a lot of friends with diagnoses stretching from ADHD to Bipolar, but I can't really speak from their experiences, only my own.

It all tends to start when you realize ‘crap, I have depression’. You've probably had it for a while but you sort of hoped it would go away. After arguments with your parents about how unmotivated you are, your weight loss or gain, and everything else, you’re finally hustled to the psychiatrist. This is where the excitement really begins, or would have, if I could have mustered up the ability to get be even remotely enthusiastic at the prospect of getting better. Luckily for me, not expecting much really turned out to be a godsend as I started my tenure as a lab rat.

Fluoxetine; or Prozac, that was Drug #1. This drug may have worked for you, it may not have. It's all the luck of the draw, and this time it just wasn't my hand. I started off on the regular starting dosage, 10 mg. I then went back saying “eh, it's not really doing anything, not feeling worse, not feeling better,” at which point my lovely doctor decided “let's increase the drug intake”. I suppose this would have been fine if he decided to stop at 20mg, or maybe 40 mg. Maybe it would have been okay to say 60mg. Unfortunately, that was not the case for me as I continued going up, 10mg at a time every month, which went on for around a year. That’s right ladies and gentlemen, I got up to 120 mg of fluoxetine in hopes that the slot machine would make my losses worth it (FYI: slot machines are rigged by the casinos. Shhhh.)

Finally, enough was enough. I went into my doctor one day and said “this isn’t working. I’ll try one more medication, but if that doesn’t work I’m giving up.” I’m paraphrasing here, the language was considerably less ladylike during the conversation. So along came Drug #2: Citalopram. And voila! Whether this drug was a placebo, or whether my body was naturally improving, I finally thought I was improving! I had hope! I was finally dealt a good hand!

As Baltasar Gracian once said “Quit while you're ahead. All the best gamblers do.” It's a shame I've never had a philosophy class, or I might have kept an ace up my sleeve for a moment like this. Unfortunately, before too long the drugs stopped having an effect. I was becoming increasingly depressed again. Clearly, that's what's not supposed to happen, so back to the doctor I went.

I think my favorite line from a psychiatrist would have to be “I think the drugs are still helping, just imagine how depressed you could actually be”. Well shit. If anyone can convince you to do drugs, it'd be this guy.

My life took a sudden turn when at 19 years old. my therapist said “hmm, I think you have ADHD, let's get you tested”. Now I've been in therapy for three years at least, seen countless doctors of all sizes and shapes. With all of these people poking and prodding it takes Doctor Gazillion-and-two to think I have ADHD. I just don't know what to think… but I'm not going to turn that down. Adderall pills in university costs $20 a pop, and I'd known that it's said to at least help you focus and perform better in school, for people with ADHD and without.

Finally, I worked up the courage to say, ‘look, Citalopram just isn't doing what I need it to do’, and after three years my psychiatrist peaced out and left me as someone else's problem. Shame, I thought we were finally getting along. I, as a sensible human being, of course, realized there were no profits in staying when I was, went to try my hand at the next casino.

Just remember when taking antidepressants, the side effects can be:

• Getting more depressed (once you've hit rock bottom, remember, there's still hell beneath you).
• You might sleep more, you might sleep less
• You may gain weight, you may lose weight

The side effects are limitless! My absolute favorite of Drug #3 is the switching between extreme rage to extreme sorrow. Now, remember, you may want to stab your sibling 37 times in the chest, but remember: Stick. With. The. Meds.

I’m told it’ll get better, or at the very least it will go back to normal, which is supposed to feel a hell of a lot better than what you've just been through, and after a bad game, breaking even isn't so bad.

So for everyone new to the wonderful world of psych meds, welcome to the never ending game of roulette, and good luck. To those who have played this game and understand, just keep in mind, you never know what's behind the door of Drug #3.