It is no secret that I’ve been an extreme Peter Kraus fan since the minute he walked out of the limo to meet Rachel. Kraus is impeccably handsome, poised, and true to his character. It was obvious that Kraus and Lindsay had an immediate connection from the start; she even gave him the first one-on-one date.

This first date was very telling of the couple, as they bonded over both their common gap-tooth and help they’ve received in relationship counseling. From then, the “Pachel” ship had sailed. As for Bryan Abasolo and his stance in the competition, all I could think about is how irritating he was every time he opened his mouth. (And oh my goodness- I CANNOT watch him kiss Rachel without gagging).

As for Rachel and Peter, many iconic moments were shared between them throughout the show. One of my favorite moments was when they both snuck out of a group date to spend time in the hot tub together. During another group date after that, Rachel dropped the bomb that she is licensed to work in Wisconsin, Peter’s hometown. It seemed almost too coincidental and perfect for the couple. It was not until the last few weeks of the show where I began to doubt Peter becoming the winner.

After Peter and Rachel’s second one-on-one date in Geneva, Peter opens up about his doubts of not being ready to get down on one knee if he makes it to the end. (which is INCREDIBLY understandable because these contestants have only known each other for a couple of WEEKS- but I guess Peter has to know what he signed himself up for, right?)

Rachel seems hesitant about keeping Peter around, as she wants nothing but a proposal at the end of the show. On the other hand, Bryan has been extremely open with Rachel about his feelings and that he is ready to propose to her. (yet I personally believe anyone with his character would be open to marrying anyone at age 37- especially a beautiful and intelligent girl he had the privilege of meeting publically on television). Even with her doubts with Peter, she reluctantly gives him a rose, sending herself to Wisconsin to meet Peter’s family.

This decision led me to believe that Rachel had the strongest feelings for Peter throughout this process, as I feel that if any other man had this conversation with her, they would be sent home.

In Wisconsin, Peter and his family have no hesitation in letting Rachel know that they are not ready to commit to a proposal just yet. Even through this confusion, Rachel adores the way Peter is around his family and young niece. They both even enjoy a normal date together at the local farmer’s market. Peter and Rachel are clearly effortless together (despite the stupid, unrealistic time span on this show).

Meanwhile, in Miami, Bryan introduces Rachel to his family, including his possessive mother (who happened to be the reason Bryan and his last girlfriend split). In no surprise, Bryan tells Rachel he’s in love with her at the end of the date (making us Pachel fans more hopeless in her blindlessly choosing Bryan instead).

When both men visit Rachel’s hometown, her family’s reactions are extremely different with each man. The Lindsay’s absolutely adored Peter and his genuine honesty; even having one of Rachel’s aunts stating Peter is the “winner.” (ALSO prior to visiting the Lindsay house, Peter and Rachel went shopping for baby clothes and Peter precisely knew baby clothes sizes- WHAT- how perfect?) When Bryan met the Lindsay’s the vibe was incredibly different. The family could not see through Bryan’s smooth charm and his ability to know everything to say. Rachel’s sister, Constance, questions the sincerity factor within his words (BINGO- thank you).

Part 1 of the finale comes and Peter and Rachel go to a beautiful vineyard in Rioja, Spain. They then both have a tough conversation that leads us to believe that Rachel will finally be sending Peter home over the proposal issue. We are left on a cliffhanger with the couple, yet part 2 of the finale shows Rachel giving Peter yet another chance.

This means that Peter and Rachel are sent to the fantasy suite to spend the night together. (You’d think at this point Rachel would let go anyone that still isn’t ready to propose to her at the end- NOT WITH PETER MY FRIENDS, NOT WITH PETER). This led me to believe that Rachel’s feelings for Peter maybe could have been stronger than her feelings for Bryan.

Finally, we are down to the final two and it’s no surprise that Bryan and Peter are left. Peter has the last date with Rachel before her engagement. The date is fine until the subject of the proposal is brought up again. Peter and Rachel are still at a crossroads with their own ideas of engagement. While Peter admits that he feels like Rachel is the correct person for him, he still feels like the next day is not the right time to propose.

Despite this, he wants to continue a serious relationship with Rachel. Rachel stated she did not want a boyfriend after this. She is set on a proposal. After going back and forth on the topic, tears begin to shed (including mine). The situation was heartbreaking because the two knew they had to end their relationship even when they did not want to. As Peter walks Rachel out, the most intense 5 minutes of Bachelor/Bachelorette history airs.

The two cannot leave one another, kissing and crying. They both exchange “I love you” to one another. As Rachel begins to walk away she admits she can’t say goodbye and the two embrace one last time. Once Rachel leaves, her relationship with Peter is over.

What I loved so much about that moment is that although it was heartbreaking, it was so genuine and real. I didn’t feel like I was watching a television show; I felt like I was intruding on a private conversation and it was uncomfortable. The split was so intense that all of social media was raving about it, making comments like “Peter and Rachel’s split was the most intense breakup I’ve been a part of and I wasn’t even there.”

It is clear to all the viewers that Rachel chooses Bryan in the end, but watching it happen right after the Peter breakup did not feel right. I could not understand. How could someone’s heart be completely broken one day, and be able to go through with a marriage proposal the next?

This did not sit right with me as a viewer, and I’m honestly not sure how Rachel was able to “move on” so quickly after a night. I am not trying to discredit Rachel’s love for Bryan by any means while saying this, but as a viewer of the show, after the final rose special, and interviews between the two, Bryan seems like the winning rebound for Rachel. I’m sure Rachel does love Bryan, but there is no way that if Peter was as confident in proposing to Rachel as Bryan was this season, Rachel wouldn’t have chosen Peter instead. Why else would she have strung him along since their second date in Geneva? Why else was it so hard for her to let go of him until the very last moment?

What disappointed me the most was the way Rachel discussed her split with Peter and her attitude towards him during After the Final Rose. I get that she hasn’t seen Peter in months, but her actions honestly discredited the way she felt about him throughout the season and the split. It seemed as if she was guarding herself against him entirely because it was still hurting her. It seemed to me as if she was using Bryan as a life jacket to save herself from her feelings about Peter.

Personally, I feel as though she was too set on getting a ring then picking the correct guy for her. I understand this franchise was created for Bachelors/Bachelorettes to find a spouse at the end, but when it comes to the prime goal of a ring or staying with someone you are truly in love with, why settle? I’m sure she will be happy with Bryan, but I believe that Peter was definitely the better choice for her. I will end my whole statement with this: When the breakup is more passionate than the final proposal- everyone should realize where Rachel’s feelings lie.

I guess the only thing we can hope for is that Rachel and Bryan will be happy together and that Peter will be able to happily move on (Bachelor 2018?) For us Pachel fans, this will be a hard one for us to get over. Let’s just hope this summer’s Bachelor In Paradise season is as dramatic and obsessive as Rachel Lindsay’s season of the Bachelorette.