Feed two birds with one scone.

Instead of saying "kill two birds with one stone", PETA wants us to start saying this. Out of all 5 phrases PETA is promoting, this one probably makes the most sense. Kill two birds with one stone is a popular idiom that is just that - an idiom. If you have not heard this phrase before it means to get two things done at once and there were no birds harmed in the making of this term.

While feeding two birds with one scone is kind of getting two things done at once, it loses the value the original expression has. But more importantly, bread is not good for birds and somebody needs to tell PETA this. There is no nutritional value for the birds and while it is fine in small doses, it is ultimately not healthy for birds. Knowing that makes it not-so-anti-animal, huh PETA?

Be the test tube.

Okay, in what world does this make sense? PETA wants to replace another common phrase, "be the guinea pig", with this nonsense. A test tube is literally a glass tube closed on one end used to hold material for laboratories and experiments. While a test tube assists in experiments, it is not what is being tested. I get that "be the guinea pig" goes against their mission of ending animal testing, but at least match the phrase with something that makes sense! If this phrase goes into your repertoire, I am sorry but we cannot be friends.

Feed a fed horse.

"Beat a dead horse" means wasting one's energy on something that cannot be changed. Instead of saying this we should say, feed a fed horse. Honestly, I love animals as much as the next person but they do not understand what we are saying or get offended! My dad is a veterinarian who works specifically on horses so I can attest that every horse (not including ones that malnourished and abused) are fed multiple times a day and giving them more food will not hurt them because they can regulate themselves. Feeding a fed horse is not wasting any energy on something that cannot be changed, you are just saving yourself energy for later honestly.

Bring home the bagels.

Apparently "bring home the bacon" is too offensive for the members of PETA. This means to succeed or earn a living. I think PETA is against this phrase just because they are miss the taste of bacon but that is neither here nor there. Bring home the bagels does not correlate or make any sense in this matter. Has PETA ever seen Veggie Tales? Because if we are going to think by their logic, Veggie Tales proves that vegetables, or in this case wheat, have feelings. I certainly will not be bringing home the bagels but I will be bringing home bacon.

Take the flowers by the thorns.

PETA's last suggestion was to replace "grab the bull by the horns" with a saying that does not compare to the meaning of the original phrase. I remember reading somewhere that flowers cry when we cut them - take that PETA. When someone "grabs the bull by the horns" that means they are taking charge of a situation. If I were to grab the flowers by the thorns, I am just causing pain to myself for no reason that is avoidable. This one is probably the worst of them all because there is no way one can comprehend this to make sense. Instead of causing harm to animals, let's cause harm to ourselves via thorns.