According to Dictionary.com, self-image is defined as "the idea, conception or mental image one has of oneself." How I view myself is generally not something I like to reflect on much, the whole process is upsetting to me. I have quite a few insecurities and they affect the way I view myself. And truly that makes me sad, the majority of my insecurities lie in my physical appearance and I allow that to dictate to what I view as my value.
I honestly could go on and on about my insecurities, my eyes are too small, I have stretch marks all over my legs, my forehead is massive, I could stand to lose a few pounds, I have a weird birthmark on my hip, etc. And it's not just physical insecurities, sure that's about 80 percent of them. But I still get insecure when I have to take charge, I worry people will view me as bossy or "naggy." I've taken advanced class all throughout middle school and high school, and being in a class full of smart people made me feel so inferior. I was constantly worried about not being as intelligent or being viewed as intelligent as those around me.
A year after being done with high school and my advanced classes and I still worry that those around me don't think I'm intelligent. But at the same time, I get insecure that people think being smart is the only think there is to me, or that I'm obnoxious about having taken advanced classes and that I rub people's noses in it. Due to the insecurities I tend to not view myself as anything special. I wouldn't say my self-image is negative, but it's not positive. I view my self as just average, nothing special.
That needs to change. But I know it's not something that can be changed in a day. You always see people talking about how important it is to love yourself and have a positive self-image. Something like that doesn't happen over night. You need to want to have a positive self-image. And I've never really wanted a positive self-image because I never realized that I didn't have one. Now that I've come to the conclusion that my self-image needs some work, I'm actually working on it.
I've started to pinpoint some things that I like about myself. So when I start thinking about there being nothing special about me I at least have one thing that I think is special. One thing that I view as valuable about me. I love learning, and you know what? I think that's pretty cool and it's something I like about myself. I've always had people tell me that I have a great smile, and you know what? I agree with that. I love smiling and I like my smile.
It's hard to find positive things about your self when you're riddled with insecurities. But it's important to do. Finding thing you like about yourself is an amazing feeling that everyone should be able to experience.
