A Personal Poem

Trade in acceptance for greedy curiosity

Since then, been handling life with internal ferocity

Living as a flaming atrocity

Didn’t know “love” could feel this mercilessly shitty

Am I doing this right?

Stick with one, learn to get comfortable

Venture out with others and learn how to be miserable

Mix in external pleasures, along with constantly changing brain chemicals

Can’t go back to a dying fleeting feeling, too much has changed

I’m not who I was a year ago

Blame it on them, blame it on her, everyone except yourself, why not

Different differences, Similar voids, haunting my thoughts

Screaming alone in a mobile distraction

I wish the release gave me eternal satisfaction

But it doesn’t

Nice smile, nice figure, anything to forget her

Narcissism mistaken for sexual confidence, wish I never met her

Damaged, but functioning, nothing could upset her

Small, but loving, both in the sheets and in the streets

I miss the idea of you

Faux leather to cope with the powerlessness

Too much acceptance, more than I feel capable to address

I’m so sorry, I have so many feelings, yet I don’t know how to invest

I grew, I learned, I overcame? Shoot me in the chest

That’s where a heart would be right?

I’m done <3