To the person who made what he thought was an innocuous, yet sexist comment,

You just said something that has silenced the room, and not in a good way. You think that because you are surrounded by your “friends” that you can say whatever you think suits the situation. You think that your words and actions are justified because other people have made “similar” remarks before you, except they were not similar. The jokes that the others and myself have made before this were in good humor, funny, a little rude perhaps, but given the composition of our group, they were not out of the ordinary. What we were saying was meant purely in jest, and we knew that. All of us know how to take jokes. However, you made a joke that was not only very sexist but totally uncalled for. Now, I understand that had the remark been made in character (as we were playing D&D), I could have just let it slide. The remarks made against men from the Huntresses of Artemis were in character and incredibly in line with who they are. Your jab, however, was probably the most irritating because it was both out of character, and I was the only girl in the room, and therefore really the only one it was (advertently or inadvertently) directed at.

You are not the brightest person in the room when it comes to interpersonal relations. You do not know how to read the room and assess what is or is not appropriate. I think that you lack the filter that most people have. You say things that really should not come out of your mouth, then get upset when people get mad at you. I am not entirely sure what caused you to turn out like this, but I don’t think it will be helpful to you in the future. Being able to read a situation is an integral part of life, whether it be communicating in a workplace setting or even talking to a romantic partner. You cannot possibly hope that everyone you come across for the rest of your life will just understand your sense of “humor” or your point of view.

College is supposed to be the place where you can safely express opinions, but also where you learn that sometimes your opinions are wrong, and therefore need to be updated or changed. I think yours are long overdue for a complete overhaul. While you may meet people after college who find the same things funny as you do, remember that this perpetuates the belief that the things people say have no consequences in the real world, when, in fact, they do. Our experiences, our lives, and our choices do not exist in this neat little bubble; they create ripples outward, touching and affecting the ripples of everyone else that comes into contact with us.

You need to understand that the world does not coddle, and more often than not, someone will find fault with what you have to say if it goes against something they believe. Don’t get mad if someone chastises you and not someone else, even though you think that you both said similar things. Depending on who heard you, they are potentially very different.

Signed,

Someone Mildly Fed Up