When racism happens, it either comes from two places:
1. Ignorance 2. Hate.
When it's hate, there are many ways you deal with it, but in this article, I want to address when it is ignorance, or even when it is not racism at all.
Recently there has been a post circulating online where a white girl commented on something asking why black women were so strong, and she said that she wish she had some of that strength. Instead of seeing this for what it was - a cry for help or an attempt to appreciate a group of people - this girl was harassed, threatened, and mocked. Pages everywhere wrote articles praising the people's responses to the girl. This is an issue. What will that girl think for the rest of her life? Will she be afraid to ever speak up and say something positive to a black woman? Even after apoligizing about "not saying the right thing", she was mocked. Instead of someone taking this opportunity to educate, they chose to belittle and mock her for a comment that I didn't believe was rude at all.
When we don't take every opportunity to educate someone on the effects of their words, we lose a chance to change a perception. Now this, although maybe unfair, is necessary. Black women are seen as angry and violent by many, Mexican and Hispanic women are seen as uneducated and ignorant or crazy and violent, etc. Every time we are willing to confront an ignorant situation with calmness and clarity, we win a little battle. Maybe this shouldn't have to be your duty, but it is.
I rarely go off on someone for something that is ignorant because I have learned first hand that they may not have understood it was ignorant in the first place. If someone tells me "I have black friends," I pull them aside and explain how that is a common racist defense. I have physically seen the epiphany people have after discussing these things.
Furthermore, It is also our duty, whether fair or not, to be willing to answer questions people may have. Quite often I am approached as to what is racist and what is not. I have been asked if asking a black woman if her hair is real is racist, I have been asked if it is racist to touch a black woman's hair, I have been asked If it is okay to say "black" and my willingness to respond has educated someone while also preventing someone else from being on the receiving end of the remarks.
The point is, be willing to take time out and help someone understand something better. Attacking an ignorant comment isn't okay, and doesn't help anyone. Now, as for hateful comments, go off as much as you want.